I have recurring dreams about this girl who I never actually dated. We went out once and I didn’t call her back but it was mad attraction at first sight. She hasn’t talked to me since and its very reasonable that she moved on from whatever crush she may have had but I consciously avoid having to see her at work events and such because of how torturous it is to not see or talk to her after that. I even turned off my active status on social media so I wouldn’t have to see her when she’s online (bc for some reason she always pops up first on the list of active people on messenger/insta). When I am walking down the street or at an event that I think she might also be attending I am always thinking that I saw someone that looked like her but get lowkey disappointed but highkey happy that I didn’t have to have an awkward encounter, when it turns out it isnt her. I think I may be lovesick but I didn’t think that kinda stuff happens past your teen years.
4 comments
It can happen at any age, I experienced this. The way it stopped was I found out some info on her that made me hate her. Basically she fucked a dude who was engaged.
I don’t know if I would describe the situation as a subconscious obsession, it sounds like you regret a missed opportunity by not following through after your date. I would suggest first sitting yourself down and honestly examining your feelings and the root causes of why you choose not to continue dating and once you have that perspective, look at what you are feeling now and ask yourself why this particular instance is currently haunting you. Perhaps you recently became single and now you are dwelling on the “could have been” with another (happens to us all). Finally, once you have come to terms with your feelings and the “why”, you could stop actively avoiding the situation and if you happen to meet in a social situation, you can casually speak with the her. If she mentions the past, you could have an honest conversation and perhaps start again as friends. Avoiding the issue and constantly thinking about it will only prolong the resolution.
I think you might be putting her on a pedestal. Everyone has flaws man soon as you recognize and articulate hers you’ll be fine. Sounds like you at least on some level know what hers are because you didn’t call her back so you either need to come to terms with whatever that is or just stop avoiding her and try to strike up a friendship again.
sure it happens. but if it’s getting invasive and affecting your daily life and happiness, you either have to resolve it with her once and for all, or get counseling for these obsessive feelings. or both.
putting the past behind us can be hard, but it’s possible–and necessary to move forward in life.