I (25f) am married to my husband (27m). My husband has about $23,000 in student loans that are eligible for the new student loan forgiveness. I don’t have any debt mostly due to my parents paying for my school which I’m extremely grateful for. We are trying to buy a house soon and to start a family and this student loan forgiveness would be amazingly helpful for that. Here the thing. My husband wants to turn down the forgiveness because he says that he agreed to pay the student loan so he thinks that we should pay it off. He won’t listen to me when i say that it would help us out a lot and he says that I’m only looking at the ways it will benefit us instead of the actual principals of accepting it. I need some help. He’s always been super proud about money so this isn’t a new thing. It would just help us out so much and I don’t know how to make him listen.
31 comments
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It’s his loan debt so he probably gets to make the decision. All you can do is let him know that you’d like him to accept the relief.
Tell him he already paid off his loan and then some, because he probably has, because the banks are assholes. And then tell him to stop following right wing media.
Tell him that this would help alleviate some financial stress for you two as a young married couple so you can save that and put it towards a house or a vacation or baby planning if that’s in your future.
Also, there’s tax credits for being married and for having kids. Does he want to not get those out of the same principle? Of course not. It’s essentially the same thing.
And not to say we don’t need farmers (we need them because without them, no food!), but farming (large scale) is heavily subsidized especially if you grow corn or canola or soy or raise dairy cows. But you don’t see farmers declining the subsidy on principle of old fashioned hard work, sweat and tears.
Principles are great. On my list of important principles, making sure that the bankers get their pound of flesh, is way down at the bottom
Put your foot down and tell him that this is a decision that ultimately affects both of you.
$23,000 is a lot of money, and it will absolutely affect any financial decisions that you make in the future, including any future children.
He is only thinking about abstract principles and not the real world consequences that would affect both him and **you**.
Oh, and ask if he has been drinking the right-wing Kool-Aid, because that’s the only reason for having such “principles.”
Your husband is being unreasonable and foolish. His “principals” sure are going to hold you both back when it comes to building your future.
Oh men and their pride. Tell him to swallow it. Life is friggen hard out there. If you qualify for a program, why not take advantage of it? It’s not sneaky, it’s not shady. It’s there so you guys can have a chance of having a good life, stimulate the economy, and save for retirement. No one looks back when they’re older and think “i wish i paid more for my tuition”.
He is not less of a man, he is not going back on his word, he is not compromising his morals. He is using a program at his disposal….meant for people like him! If he doesn’t listen then keep digging at why. Why is this a hill you want to die on? Why does he think people would think less of him? Who do you think this decision impacts in the end?
My hubby swallowed his pride when we were house buying. You will get there.
It is silly to not take the money because of principles. I consider it this way, rich people take advantage of every program and loophole so they can accrue as much wealth as possible. He does not win an award for suffering. We all take advantage of a wide variety of credits, discounts, rebates, etc. This one has just been politicized by people who don’t have real skin in the game.
I think back to the Obama era mortgage program that let you refinance for a lower interest rate. My MIL was dead set against us taking advantage of it for “reasons”, one of which was principles. We pushed ahead anyway and the financial relief was great and ultimately let us be able to afford a nicer house in a nicer city. So do I feel bad about not having principles? no. I have a better life because I looked at things pragmatically instead of emotionally.
He’s making a decision that will have a massive negative affect on your finances because of an ideological principal with no rational basis.
If he won the lottery would he decline on the principle that he chose to live life like this? Principles are welcome in many facets of life but this is just unreasonable when it has an impact on your family. Take the money, put your weirdly fragile ego aside, and continue on with your future. It’s that easy and will have a greater impact on the future. I cannot understand why his pride matters more than an easier future and opportunity to save for meaningful things like a home. What was the other option when he decided to take the loan? Not go to school and get a job from the degree? Because he wasn’t offered another option – it’s not like he made a moral choice there. Just one that would have a better impact on his future. By that logic, he should take the money now. For a better future. Not some bizarre conservative bill to die on
You still [with the Ben Shapiro fanboy](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/ikbyqo/we_have_different_political_views_and_2020_sucks/)? This guy choosing to hobble your household financially out of “principle“ is utterly unsurprising. He is more committed to pwning the libs by keeping nearly twice the debt he needs to than thinking of ways he could actually use that money to improve his life or anyone else’s. I’m sorry.
If he doesn’t take it, someone else will. And we are all paying taxes so we are all basically paying one way or another. I would take it and I hope he does too.
Unless he plans on paying it off lump-sum in the near future, with compounding interest he’s going to pay a hell of a lot more than $23k
Ask him plainly, if he went to the store and they were offering him a discount on the cookies he was gonna buy, would he turn it down?
It’s the same thing, he is being offered a rebate on a product he bought, nothing more, and honestly, his tax dollars are being used anyways, so they are really just giving his money back.
It’s a rebate, a coupon, nothing more really.
Tell him to turn off Ben Shapiro and maybe never look a gift horse in the mouth.
His right wing idols aren’t turning down free money, thats for sure.
Lol what a moron. Lemme guess, he votes republican?
These loans are being paid for using our Taz dollars. They’d be going somewhere else if not this. He didn’t get mad when the PPP loans came out did he? Or when the banks were bailed out? Lol but he’s not going to pet taxpayers put money toward middle class students out of what principle? Lol it’s just ridiculous. He has no idea what taxes are? He is slow?
This loan forgiveness has a sinister ulterior motive: to help adults invest in their lives.
Instead make other people rich on interest—- invest in each other and your future.
I wouldn’t stay with someone who put their massive fucking ego before the family I was planning with them. He doesn’t sound like a team player.
dump him you deserve better you don’t need to put up with that
Goes to show that just because you went to school doesn’t mean you are smart.
Dude spent 230k and can’t make a simple and wise decision.
He does realize companies also got debt forgiveness and they didn’t think twice?
Does he know about tax breaks for companies?
Yikes…
Well that’s fucking stupid.
Ordinarily, I would say people are entitled to make decisions that don’t harm others, animals, or the environment. But you two are planning on starting a family and buying a house, so this sort of affects you.
HAHAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH
wow.
Being stupid is like being dead.
It’s only a problem for other people.
You’re parter is being stupid and it’s going to affect you.
he an alpha male fr fr
If he’s the Ben Shapiro guy from your post two years ago, I’m not surprised it’s made him this stupid. Is he aware he’ll be paying a lot more than $23,000 once the interest rates kick back in again? I would look into some peer reviewed articles on the student loan scam and have him read them, or show him videos on it since I presume that’s his preferred form of learning.
Paying $10000 to own the libs.
Your husband is a moron
If someone walked upto him in the street and said here 23k would he say no?
If you buy a house and it goes up 100k will he say no, I paid x so I’m selling it for x
Honestly just unbelievable how some people don’t do this
Equally he’s turning down 23k out of principle but then willing to take out however much in mortgage along with paying all that interest
Your husband is an idiot.
Your husband is brainwashed