Hey all, I’ve been married for over a decade and much of that time was spent with no libido due to birth control and anti depressants so our sex life has been pretty vanilla. I recently got off BC and my libido is back with a vengeance, but I’m also insecure sexually. But here’s the thing, I really really enjoy watching kinky porn. Rough, legs spread, hardcore, tied up. Now that my sex drive is back, I realize this is the kind of sex I want to have and I’m excited that after a decade our sex life could get really fun. I’m just SO nervous about broaching the topic. I know my husband will be into it but I’m just so self conscious about saying it. Any advice?
5 comments
Just tell him exactly what you just typed. He’s lucky. My wife won’t do an ounce of work to improve our sex life.
If y’all drink, try having a few to help you relax and bring it up
If you don’t drink just ask him about it. Lol 😂 know it’ll be terrifying for you to bring up but he won’t have a problem with it. Does he know about the kinky porn you watch?
I remember past girls bringing up what they liked sexually or what turned them on and I was always excited about it. I think your husband will love that you’re sharing that side with him.
I’m someone who has kinky sex and I can tell you that it’s the best! Lol hope you two get experience that soon
Turn on the kind of kink you like to watch and just try simply foreplay.. “you wanna?” Tilt your head, motion to what’s playing and go for it. Simple. Easy. To the point.
Talk about sex, after sex.
I was the same way. I woke up one day and my sex drive was overwhelming. I was so embarrassed to ask or tell him what I wanted. So after sex one night, I brought up sex stuff.. and shared my feelings and wants. After we did this a few times, that self conscious feeling went away! He loves our talks after sex. It’s connected us on a deeper level of communication.
I was listening to a podcast and one of the suggestions that they mentioned when first getting into talking about sex and changing things up is maybe turning something you want to try into a dream you had. You could say something like “gosh you know after getting off birth control I think my libido is really coming back and I kind of had a wet dream I think and this is what happened…” the pressure off you because you can’t control your dreams and so you don’t have to worry about feeling judged for something you’re curious in trying and it can feel a little more safe