Hey m21, 4th year engineering student. I’m just gonna stick to the point. In a bar club or just around the campus, how would I approach a woman without seeming like a creep?

37 comments

  1. Just do it the way you meet everyone.

    Who is she friends with? Who are you friends with? Figure out alignments. Get close to different people. Start bumping into them on campus. Oh, hey! Nice to meet you my name is so and so. Small chit chat. Say bye. Don’t linger.

    Now you can wave at them hi from afar and sometimes their body language will indicate you can have a conversation.

  2. >without seeming like a creep?

    [https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/inclusive-insight/202203/what-makes-someone-creepy](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/inclusive-insight/202203/what-makes-someone-creepy)

    [https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/people-are-strange/202106/how-not-seem-creepy](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/people-are-strange/202106/how-not-seem-creepy)

    [https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/cutting-edge-leadership/202107/3-creepy-body-language-signals](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/cutting-edge-leadership/202107/3-creepy-body-language-signals)

    [https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/out-the-ooze/201604/why-some-people-creep-us-out-so-much](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/out-the-ooze/201604/why-some-people-creep-us-out-so-much)

    Be good engineering student and approach the topic scientifically and try to adapt your behavior accordingly.

  4. Hey man, you sound like me (22M mechancial engineering 4th and last year)

    I met my date in the gym. It’s really easy tbh, walk to a girl, talk about stuff. Keep going to the gym, keep talking, give high fives as greetings and then hugs then exchange contacts to train together sometimes and the to watch a movie and before you know it, your head be will between her legs 3 times by now.

  8. 1. look as innocent as possible
    2. ask them for directions for where so and so is even though you’re 4th year and you should know
    3. cut her off half way and state your true intentions (she caught your eye and you think she’s cute blah blah blah ask for her socials /number)
    4. ???
    5. you successfully approached a girl, rejected or not

  9. **Don’t approach uninvited**. If you can’t tell, pass and move on. Better to error on the side of caution.

    To know if you are invited, learn to read the room and read body language. Women will send invitation signals and will try to get your attention if she is interested. You can google what those signals are (eye contact smiling a certain way etc…).

    Some women will go so far as to cat call or point blank come up to you. Others will send a friend to recon and do her dirty work. Others will use some obvious ploy (they want you to know its obvious) to get you engaged in a conversation. Others still will effectively stalk you hoping you will notice her. Yes it will be that obvious.

    When she is interested she will make it easy to approach and talk, so will her friends. Her friends may arrange an introduction via a social event or party.

    **Most women are not interested**, those are behaviors and body language you see every day. She has head phones on, staring at her phone, is closed off, hard to talk to, surrounded by her friends etc… Do not bother approaching.

    Once you have a baseline, now look for big deviations in behavior.

    Same thing for telling when a girl is just being polite or friendly. When she is interested she will get really close to you, she will make any excuse: to talk to you, to get you alone or touch you in some way. She will use playful innuendo and flirting, mention she is single she wishes she had a BF etc…

  11. Just make a comment/convo around the situation u guys are in, or a general observation u had at that moment.

    I.e: u lock eyes with a girl, move closer and say, were u trying to see urself in my eyes? She says: bla bla, u say ah thought u were, thats why i moved closer, anyways whats ur name.

    Then make a comment that would build preasure, and follow up saying something to release the preasure. And from that point u’ll have her full attention. Its not really important what u say, how u say it is what matters.

  12. Idk how to say this, i’m a girl. But you need to see the situation i would say. In campus is actually better environment to get to know people. Join organisations, classes, and just talk to people. Sometimes us girls want to be approached too. I’m an engineer student and most of my classmates are men and idk no one has approached me so far 😂 but its okay. And l’m just too shy to start conversation and don’t wanna bother people…

  13. Establish eye contact. Be polite. Make sure she’s open to talk. Read her body language. Is she buried in her phone or closed off language (turned away from you or otherwise occupied talking to someone else).
    Once you’re talking, be fun and lighthearted. Tease her about something innocent, like wearing white after Labor Day.

    The biggest one? Don’t go to bars and clubs to find women. Go to have a good time. Expecting something everytime you go out suppresses your real personality because you’ll be too focused on outcomes to let the real you shine.

    Once you start talking to a woman, don’t be afraid to flirt. That’s what these places offer. Use innuendo and roleplay to open up the conversation. Like if she asks you something about yourself, turn it into a roleplay. Ask for your lawyer. Tell her the chokehold won’t be necessary this time officer. Lol “Chokehold” is an innuendo. It can be taken a number of ways. Bold women will take the bait.

    This is a give and take thing. You are there to have a good time, not to impress her. She has to return fire or it’s not flirting. That’s how you turn women off. The moment you try to hook her, she will think you’re only trying to get laid. If she’s not biting, it’s all good. You’re there to have a good time- NOT TO TAKE ANYONE HOME. This stuff has to happen organically. Enjoy good conversation. You’re not trying to “close the deal”. That makes you more relaxed and cuts down on anxiety and awkwardness.

    If you’re relaxed and fun, it makes her feel safe, like she can be herself and let her hair down. Stay away from hot button topics like politics or religion. Don’t trauma dump either! Save the serious stuff for later. Light and fun!

    Women are much more bold these days. If she’s feeling you, she will give you a clear opening or just straight up ask for your number.

    You’ve got this my dude!

  15. Make eye contact with the girl, and smile. If she smiles back…go over and say hello. If she doesn’t, don’t lol.

  16. Tough question. Starting point would be to just chit chat when the opportunity arises. 99 percent of the time that doesn’t lead to anything. Could wait for a woman to invite you with a eye contact and a smile. I’m a pretty good looking guy and I could count on one hand the number of times that has happened to me. From my experience most of my success with girls has come from being bold. First girl I had sex with in college happened when I was looking at a girl sitting alone in the cafeteria for like 10 minutes, approached her, and it was brutally awkward. She didn’t give me her number that time but eventually one thing led to another.

    Best case scenario would be joining a social club, chatting with a girl and then asking her out. One popular psychologist on YouTube said that most successful long term relationships start from a series of unplanned meetings. College is good for that.

    Approaching girls you don’t know in public is the hardest thing to do and no matter how socially tactful you are there are going to be women that think you’re creepy. If you’re starting at square one you don’t want to immediately start at the 10/10 difficulty level. In my life I see that most extroverts are in relationships and most introverts are single. The simplest thing you can do is just work on being more social. I studied engineering too and there’s a culture of keeping to yourself and being quiet with that crowd. Definitely NOT good when it comes to meeting new women.

  18. Walk up behind your crush, breathe heavily over her shoulder and then when she turns around say “hi I’m here to talk to you about your cars extended warranty.”

  19. Hey if you get an answer let me know I’m also 21 and don’t have a clue. Not an engineer… I’m possibly worse being an applied math major. 😵‍💫 but women… are more than a handful finding somebody is so hard I’ve pretty much given up and almost accepted being single.

  20. Assert your dominance by shitting on the floor, then yell at the top of your lungs when finished. If that doesn’t woo her, try doing the worm while singing LA Bamba backwards. It’ll get them everytime 😎

  21. Listen, I’m no expert; I can’t help you with everything that you SHOULD do, but I can definitely tell you what NOT to do. In school you have the advantage of repeated exposure. This means you can build rapport. Especially with women in your major. You strike up a convo about something that would get them to talk. For example, “hey didn’t we take [some class] together?” or “im trying to decide where to get food after class. Any suggestions?” or something in that vicinity; there’s really a lot of options tbh. You don’t want to have too many interactions like this tho because eventually they’ll wonder “what’s his deal? Why does he always ask me?” You want like 2 or 3 of these types of interactions so they don’t feel like you’re a stranger when you ask them out. And be careful about your word choice and body language. If you’re not mindful you’ll be forever banished to the friendzone. Eventually, if you’ve done the other stuff right, you can very clearly state your business and ask them out. Don’t be vague. Be direct. Of course you have to take the proper steps ahead of time ie keeping a good appearance, smelling nice, etc.

    It’s not flawless advice but you should get your foot in a lot of doors.

  22. Join a school club. Instant common interest.
    To have a convo, it always starts as a question or a compliment

  23. Imo cold approach not very likely to succeed- work!!! Or through Friends is the best way- they gradually get comfortable around you at work- make them smile make them laugh and then just ask them out to have a fun date, museum, dinner and a walk. Maybe they have some ideas for the date. Learn to flirt!!!

  24. Be kind, be yourself. Respect boundaries, and if you have something to say, say it. If not, don’t.

  25. Pro tip: you don’t. You just let them wonder why looking across the bar at someone isn’t working

  26. Bro bro it’s Iceberg here. Confidence is absolute key. You can either adapt to the situation and be the guy the girl wants to be, or you can be yourself and attract the kind of girl you want. Be yourself. Listen more than talk. Avoid saying something about yourself to relate to everything she says, get to know her more. If somehow she asks you about yourself, keep the answer rather short and sweet, and begin talking about her again. If she’s not responsive then you move on( or if you enjoy the chase than be funny throw in an anecdote and she’ll be responsive, humor over everything) if she answers your questions and seems engaged you keep going. Don’t be a detective with the questioning don’t be too invasive, be sincere. From there again, if you can make her laugh and giggle than you can make it clap and jiggle. Good luck my G always keep a jimmy.

  27. What I do is buy a woman I like at the bar a drink b4 talking to her, let the bartender say who it’s from, than as she comes over to say thank you (or not, doesn’t matter) I walk off and talk to other woman i don’t feel as threatened by. Than swing back around like 30 mins later. Doesn’t always work but when it does a. Creates mystery. B. Is an automatic convo starter. And c. Doesn’t create pressure immediately on you or the girl. Hope that helps! 🙏

  28. Approach them like they are a normal human being. Strike up a normal conversation, like one you’d have with a man you don’t know. And then give her your number. Trying to play silly games or use systems or whatever isn’t going to get a woman to like you more, most of those types of tips will only get a quick yes by making her feel awkward/unsafe if she says no. And it might work anyway, but it’ll feel better to get genuine interest.

  29. “Hey this is so random but I think you have the prettiest smile I’ve ever seen. Is there anyway I could have your phone number?”

    If they say no carry on with your day as planned and be okay losing the ten second of your time.

    If they say yes introduce yourself as you hand over your phone. Brief chit chat while they put there number in and then “it was very nice to meet you. I’ll text you” and walk away.

    At the end of the day approach politely and don’t take it personal if they are uninterested. Everyone has types and preferences and someone saying no to you is not a reflection on you. Just go on with your day.

  30. Walk over with confidence, ask her if you can buy her a drink. If she says yes, try to chat her up. If her body language is distracted on disinterested tell her it was nice talking to her, give her a smile, tell her she’s beautiful and tell her you’re going back to hang out with your friends.

  31. I’d say try to make eye contact and smile first. And try to be real. Just say hi. Offer to buy a drink. Or ask her name.

  33. It’s easy to approach a girl. I’ve approached 10 this weak. Of course it’s a numbers game too. So far Becky has been very responsive and follows the conversation, but Heather has tried biting me when I feed her so I had to make sure she could never bite me again. Don’t get me started on Mary trying to leave bed rest.

  34. As a women who has been approached a couple of times: the environment is really important. If you approach her at night in an uncrowded place, she will probably think you are creep. Talk to people in an environment where they are open to learn new people at bars, parties, at daylight on campus or on the street. Secondly, telling her your intentions as soon as possible works better imo. Most women can tell if youre hitting on them. Saying sth like: “I’m sorry for disturbing you. You caught my eyes and I think youre beautiful. [Some Smalltalk. See how she reacts. If she is wary, leave it at the compliment and move on. If she reacts positively, then ask her for a date/number].

  35. Just say hi and introduce urself, congrats u have an effective advantage now over 90% of the male population. That’ll be $50

  36. I purchased dating course, kinda worked.

    Got bored of approaching women, can give you same course at half price (less than 100$) of what I paid.
    Why doing unethical ? The dating coach who sold his course to me wasn’t ethical and didn’t stay to his words.

    Sounds like I’m selling, yea I’m but a guided course works better than youtube and texts suggestion.

  37. As a fellow engineering student (26F) who’s in grad school now, girls tend to want more commitment as they get older. If you want a relationship and not a hook up, then I would avoid searching at the bars and clubs. I know it sounds daunting but finding common interests through talking may be your best option. Because it shows you’re not just after her body but her mind and personality too. Good luck!

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