I (male) had a girlfriend in high school that I dated for a year, she was the first girl I had truly cared about emotionally and been physical with. She was nervous about anything physical throughout the relationship. We went very slow and we would always talk about what we were comfortable with. When She would decide she was ready to take a new step physically it would all go well and she was happy. But after the fact she would become very regretful and talk about how disappointed her parents would be. This had a large impact on me and made me feel as if I was doing something wrong. Eventually we decided that we wanted to have sex (after roughly 11 months). I was extremely nervous and prematurely ejaculated into a condom, I felt extremely embarrassed and apologetic. She immediately left the room saying that she thought she was pregnant and that her parents kill her. We continued dating until she got her period and she broke up with me. It has been 2 and a half years since then, I have graduated high school, had multiple girlfriends and relationships and I am now scared to take anything to the next level. This prevents me from becoming attached to girls and putting in real effort because I feel as if there is a ceiling at which I will disappoint them. Has anyone else experienced anything similar or have any thoughts.
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Anxiety around sex is pretty normal, especially if your only experience so far was not so great. Erectile and premature ejaculation issues are also really common early on.
Your options are to let the fear paralyze you and die a virgin or to move forward, probably have a few more awkward encounters and get better. Maybe talk to a therapist as well, if you’re in college you probably have access to one for free.
Take it from someone who lost their virginity on the other side of 30, it only gets harder the longer you wait.