They used to be so caring, loving, enthusiastic. Nowadays I only get to see the person I fell for when they talk to their mom.
I miss the person I fell for and I’m trying to understand that people change and that it’s not a reflection of me. We’ve seen each other for a year. They swear we are fine, but trust me I notice the different tone and attitude I get vs everyone else.
I miss them so much. I have already tried to bring this up to them and they hate when I bring up issues multiple times so I have kind of already given up. I just don’t understand how people change like that but still swear they have feelings for you.
If anyone has advice on how to not take this so personal, feel free. I feel defeated and like it’s my fault, like I’m never good enough for them, and walking on egg shells.
Tomorrow I’m out of town for a week and I’m looking forward to being near family because family love doesn’t change like that. I wonder if they’ll miss me, but why would they- besides a person who cleans their house and takes care of their mom I am just good for arguments lately. I feel like a punching bag sometimes, only getting their bad side but friends and family get all the good sides. I don’t even understand how someone so kind changes.
They hate Im forgetful, I have a condition- This is my everyday.. I’m working on it, just started seeing a new doctor last week but getting constantly reminded of the things they dislike about me to be honest makes me dislike myself too. They used to tell me amazing things before, but it all changed.
4 comments
Trust yourself. You don’t like how they treat you and talk to you. It feels different because it is different. You may want to draw a line in the sand and demand change. Put a time limit on how long you will stay in an unhappy relationship.
One year in the honeymoon period is over. Sure, feelings can exist but a lot of that initial energy is gone. It is the point where you start asking big questions about your future and whether the relationship should continue. Note that the question I suggest is different to ‘do they love me’ or ‘do they care’ because love can exist and still the relationship should end. I think this relationship is a good example of that.
Maybe over time they burnt out. Maybe that initial persona is a facade they can only maintain for a certain amount of time before their toxicity comes through. Probably both, honestly. Regardless, it doesn’t matter how nostalgic you are for who they were you are forced to reflect on who they are now and the reality is they are completely toxic. You are not happy. You love the idea of them and what you felt in the past but this is not the relationship you wanted.
>If anyone has advice on how to not take this so personal, feel free. I feel defeated and like it’s my fault, like I’m never good enough for them, and walking on egg shells.
So what is the actual take away? Obviously it isn’t you. You haven’t changed and even if you did how they are handling it is wrong. But if this is how your partner makes you feel then you should end the relationship. This isn’t what they should be about.
I’m in the same place and feel for you. A big hug to you.
I hope it works out, me and my ex were in the same spot although what people say about the honeymoon is true, I was in the other side and went from an energetic determined fun person to a depressed person that 85%of the time was easily irritated or depressed. We tried to speak about it but had a alot of decisions affecting both and sadly I wasn’t strong enough and let it all get to me. I hope the best for your relationship and would say to try to speak about things before you give up