So I met this girl a few months ago and we started dating and we quickly grew very close. We fell in love and it became a serious relationship, but a problem arose. I was her first ever relationship, she literally never even talked to any guys before me because she was very sheltered growing up. Because I was her first ever guy she was with she started thinking about how she wants to go out and experience the world or dating before we start thinking about our future together because she doesnt want to feel resentment towards me that she only ever talked to one guy her whole life. Were both teenagers. She broke up with me “temporarily” to give us some space apart from each other because the relationship grew very codependent as well. Because I just got home from rehab for drug addiction, I had to cut off all my previous friends so currently I literally have zero friends. I constantly feel extreme amounts of anxiety about our relationship. She constantly reassures me that she loves me and we will get back together in a month after she has time for herself because her home life is also very hectic. But I still have constant intense anxiety about “what if she meets another guy that she really likes and forgets me” or just worrying that we will drift apart. We still keep in contact and hangout consistently but I still worry that we will drift apart. And me constantly needing reassurance causes more stress on her. Any advice?
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>Because I just got home from rehab for drug addiction, I had to cut off all my previous friends so currently I literally have zero friends. I constantly feel extreme amounts of anxiety
Is not the standard recommendation to wait one year after rehab, before attempting dating? Why aren’t you doing that??
There’s a lot to unpack here.
>Were both teenagers.
While this may be a nice relationship, you’re still too young. Life will happen a lot in the next decade or so. Whatever happens, the only person you can really count on is you. She may not leave you today, but what about tomorrow? Or next week? Always be the best boyfriend you can be, but don’t tie your life to another person.
>She broke up with me “temporarily” to give us some space apart from each other because the relationship grew very codependent as well.
I don’t like those breaks. It’s either a break up, your heart aches for a bit but then you move on, or try to solve things as a couple. Again, you’re both young, so this kind of thinking may not be uncommon, but keep that in mind for future relationships.
>Because I just got home from rehab for drug addiction, I had to cut off all my previous friends so currently I literally have zero friends.
You really shouldn’t be worrying about a relationship, then. That also goes for the codependency – she’s the only person you have in your life. Find healthy ways to spend your time – learn another language (looks great in your CV), pick up the guitar (the guy playing the guitar always has a bunch of people around him), hit the gym, meditate, go for a hike, learn how to cook (a lifeskill) – and, if you can join a group or two around these activities, you’ll meet people and make new friends. Maybe even a part-time job – again the CV, and money is always welcome.
Live your life by yourself and you’ll put less expectations towards a relationship – which in turn will make things go smoother.
Unfortunately there is no break, it’s only breakup.