Do you think it’s true that you find love when you least expect it or aren’t actively seeking it out? If so, why do you think that is? If not, why not?
I know some baseline level of effort is required, so it’s not like the love of your life will just magically appear on your lap. But, what I mean is that when we put too much emphasis on finding a romantic connection, it makes it more difficult to actually find? What do you think?
11 comments
Partially. Sometimes things can come out of nowhere; the first guy I dated after my divorce was someone I met when I was NOT looking at all. But, I absolutely agree with your second paragraph. Some effort is usually required to meet someone. But, if you’re too focused on finding “the one”, it doesn’t usually work out well. For one thing, it can make people come across as desperate. Also, dating while you’re hyper focused on the end result is a little like grocery shopping when you’re hungry – you tend not to make healthy choices because EVERYTHING sounds good.
Yes.
I think it depends. I have a friend who’s getting engaged after being on an app to find something more long term. I think the best way to approach it is with no expectations. If you’re on apps and meeting people, just be chill about it and always put yourself first. Treat the people you meet as if they’re a friend or something, if that makes sense.
Can’t speak for women but as a guy, nope. You are expected to put yourself out there and pursue people you are interested in. You have to put in a lot of effort, relationships will not just fall into your lap.
We make up these rules to make ourselves feel better about what we don’t have. The truth is, sometimes it happens, sometimes it doesn’t.
I think when you stop focusing on love, you tend to focus more on yourself, and being happy. A happy person is more likely to be a healthy partner, which does make them more attractive in the long run.
This has been the case for me. I have a couple of theories on why. First is that when we are not looking for a relationship we focus on ourselves and just have fun. That’s very attractive to people and will draw high quality people to you. Also, I feel when we aren’t looking for someone our standards go way up. So we aren’t wasting our time trying to find the person. So when that quality person comes along we are available for them and more likely to notice them because we aren’t looking at 10 other people.
Haven’t found it when I was looking. Haven’t found it when I wasn’t looking. May not find it at all.
I think it’s random for some people yes, for some people no. The problem is if you’re aren’t looking for something often times you may miss it. Conversely if you’re looking to hard you lose your overall scope and miss it
No. The only times I fell in love were when I was seeking love. That’s not to say they’re related, it’s just that it’s more likely than not that I’m looking.
Yea
If your guy you need to. If your a women no.