I (18m) want to preface this with the fact that I am introverted, and have never been on a date or been in a relationship. I’m aware that I have zero experience with this which is why I’m making this post.
I’ve been talking to a friend (19f) for a while, and I wanted to take things a step further, so I starting texting her more and trying to set up either a food date or gym visit just so I can get to know her more and hang out with her more. After a couple weeks of talking, I felt a connection, and decided to take a step I’ve never done before and directly ask her to hang out (specifically do a workout together and then get dinner afterwards). In my mind I thought this was insane, since I’ve never really done anything by myself with a girl that I was interested in. I never asked is she was in a relationship, and it never came up in conversation. I figured since we have been talking for a while, that she didn’t have one. Halfway through the workout she mentioned going to her boyfriends house the day before, and that’s when I found out.
My main question is: How do I correctly ask about relationship status, without making it weird?
We are on the same sport club team which is why I was scared to make my intentions known and possibly ruin the friendly relationship we have (since ill see her all the time).
Please let me know if I’m missing something obvious, like I said I have zero experience with dating and bad social skills. I think I just got over excited that I finally was able to take a step forward and over-estimated what it meant.
2 comments
first, great job putting yourself out there and trying. no, it didn’t pan out the way you wanted but that’s ok. you asked and look at yourself, you’re fine. nothing happened, you got through it.
now, i don’t think she was leading you on, I think you just weren’t on the same page. a misunderstanding, of sorts. next time, you can just say ‘hey, I was wondering if you’re seeing anybody’. it’s simple. if she says no and ask why, then tell her and ask her out. if she is, be positive about it. ‘that’s cool, how long have you been dating?’ or whatever.
how you handle and act to the news you might not want to hear and how you handle ejection is important.
you handled this so well! imo, you can just do the same thing you did with this girl, with other dates. when a girl sees that you are interested, she will tell you herself that she is taken, and if she doesnt, take your shot! dating is a trial and error thing and you will learn with time