What is the reason people become best friends with exes?

24 comments

1. Because her and I are better friends than partners. I love her to death, just not in a romantic way. We had an amicable split after being together 4 years. No bad blood.

2. At some point, they liked each other. They enjoyed the same things, the same activities, and they have a shared history together and probably know the same people.

   Then, somewhere something went wrong romantically. Somehow the two people didn’t stack up and their expectations weren’t met or they couldn’t continue the relationship at such a level of vulnerability.

   Now, they don’t have that same expectation and they can do what they were doing originally before they dated: Spend time together having fun, no pressure and no expectations.

   It makes sense.

3. They had a good relationship, just not a sexual or romantic relationship.

4. That’s me for sure, because some of my exes were my best friends before we started dating, or we became best friends while we were lovers.

   Sometimes the romantic love is gone, the future life together, all the relationship stuff just doesn’t mesh and workout, but the person is still someone you connect and get along with well. None of the breakups were over anything like a lack of loyalty or respect, just different ideas of what we need in a partner, or growing and changing, or different life paths that can’t be compromised.

   And good friends are hard to come by, the real lifelong type are 1 in a million. If you can get past the PAST, no get caught up in feelings, and honestly just want the best for eachother without jealousy, they make some amazing friends.

5. They’re not over each other.

6. They didn’t learn their lesson the first time.

7. I’ve never had a ex.

8. I wouldn’t say best friends, but really good friends? Sure. You just realize that you still like this person as a friend/person, you just don’t have that romantic fire for each other anymore.

   You get the banging out the way so the real friendship can begin.

9. kids, coparenting etc.,

10. They wanna keep those benefits active.

11. No thanks

12. That’s hard stuff for some people, but me and my last ex are building up our friendship slowly again months after we broke up. We realized we are incredible friends and care a lot about each other even though our sexual life wasn’t a good match. It is necessary to take some time away from each other, though, so the relationship can be resignified.

13. “Energy” manipulation usually.

    It’s like, “I like your attention, I just don’t want to be responsible for you”

    Or, “I want you to continue being responsible to me, without any expectations on my part”

    Or, “You are great as a toy.”

    Or, “I’m afraid of being alone and am dependent.”

    Or, “I like everything you do for me, I just don’t want to have sex with you”

    Or, “My happiness is more important than solving issues.”

14. Because they were part of each other’s lives. Things don’t have to get meddled by the ego and become hateful.

15. Just because they realize they aren’t good as a couple, it doesn’t mean their relationship ended badly.

    Contrary to popular belief, you don’t have to end a relationship by hating the other person. You actually can end a relationship on good terms. And if you were friends during your relationship, your SO was likely one of your best friends.

16. It could be work or finances. Or if you have kids together its better to stay on friendly terms.

17. To secretly fuck

18. We have a child together so to make things 1000x easier its best to stay friends.

19. Of course when both realize their relationship isn’t working and it doesn’t feel right to either. A amicable mutual breakup before things get nasty

20. They still wanna fuck every now and then.

21. As an expet source for all the ways you fucked up that you can go back to and learn from.

22. I’m struggling with this right now. Looks like I’m getting divorced and my soon to be ex-wife really wants to be my friend still. We have no kids, so it could be a clean break. I really want to stay in touch with her, but I think it would be best for my mental health to not. It would be too hard to see her and not think of the woman I married and loved.

    If you were in a shorter relationship thought, I see no problem with it. Relationships don’t have to be messy when they end.

23. keep your enemies close.

24. Sometimes co-parenting. It’s better for the kids and even though they aren’t together anymore, sometimes parents work better as a platonic team than being together.