30yo male, 6’1 height, in great shape, with good career.
I dated around 10 girls from online dating in the last 2 years and none of them led to a relationship. At the end, what I got was not getting response or receiving a text message that says they didn’t feel the chemistry!
Unfortunately I have no feedback of the specific reason why this happens.
I usually talk to girls on apps for a couple of days, then I ask them out for a coffee or drink date. I usually set up the second date and all of them accept the second date. We usually have dinner, I pay the bills, we say goodbye, hug and we end the the night.
In the past, I used to asked them out for the third date and most of them said yes. We then have good night and when I want to go for a kiss or when I want to invite them to come over next time, they say no for not feeling the chemistry.
Nowadays, I thought it would be better that I go for the kiss at the end of second date to measure their interest and this led to a cheek turn (2 out of 3)!
I make sure to not be pushy or needy but none of them works for me. I never had a date that the interest level grow after the first date and girl initiate texting or show that they are really intrested.
I feel very disappointed and I don’t know what should I do! I would be a great help if you can give me some advice.
TL;DR: I go out with girls multiple times and the interest fade away and none of them lead to a relationship.
6 comments
You seem to be a nice dude.
Maybe you go for girls who are not compatible?
How long are your dates and what do you talk about? Who asks questions?
Dating is a numbers game. As a girl, which I think is way easier, I also had a lot of rejection. I think just keep doing what you’re doing and wait for something to eventually click. It doesn’t sound like you’re doing anything particularly wrong. Make sure you’re being interesting. Talk about things other than work and act interested in them as a person not just a romantic opportunity. But it sounds like you’re doing that?
P.s I found my now fiancé online. He went in for a kiss on the first date and I turned my cheek. It can take girls longer to feel the spark and be sure they want physical intimacy. It took me a few dates to feel a spark with him because it took a lot of conversation for me to feel like I was actually starting to know him. The real him you know?
This isn’t fun to say but it’s possible you are very boring or can’t hold a conversation.
You’re getting the second date because as you say you are taller and in shape. That will attract a certain amount of women enough that they will hope the second date winds up
being better. But ultimately if they don’t connect to your personality (or imagine a connection)it’s unlikely that they will want to get naked with you.
Girls want someone that can make them laugh. Most girls I’ve know would rather have that than tall/good looking rich. Personality is most important. The other stuff are just bonuses. If you find a girl and you can make her laugh, know that you’re set my dude.
How do your dates typically go? Do you ask good questions about their life and pay close attention to their answers or do you bounce around from topic to topic?
We need more here about the context of the dates themselves. Being tall and in shape will only get you so far.
You are focusing too much on yourself. You think your appearance alone will cut it. While good appearance might get you the first two dates, for a serious relationship, women want you to make them feel important and that you care about them as persons. Do you ask them questions about their interests and likes? Do you make them feel important and beautiful? Do you give them compliments that make them feel good about themselves?