How did you handle hanging out with someone new at school or work where someone else told you they were a bad person?

11 comments

1. [removed]

2. I told them thank you for your concern but I will form my own opinion about this person.

   If I continues I would just tell them to shove it.

3. [removed]

4. I treat them like I do anyone else and form my own opinions. Honestly I internally give the person who told me this a second glance. More often than not, THEY have been the person I should watch out for.

5. Depends on who told me. do I know them? Are they someone I trust? If so I take them at their word. The last time I ignored someone’s warnings I got SA-ed and developed a panic disorder for 3 years. So won’t do that again.

6. Depends on the context and situation. Who is the person telling me? Are they trustworthy? What makes them think this person is bad? Is it firsthand knowledge? What is the person accused of?

7. In school it was my parents telling me, but I was 13 so by definition I hung out with them even more.

   Now as an adult I’m a pretty quick and good judge of character, so I’m not bothered by anyone else’s opinion.

8. Either the judgement of the person who advised you is bad and the person is fine or their judgement is spot on and this person sucks.

   If you know this person to be generally right and correct about things… step back and consider why you think they’re wrong this time. Is it just wishful thinking on your part and it’s actually a bad idea? If logically you know they’re probably right but you just have to see for yourself, go ahead and write your future self an apology. And don’t go crying to the person who advised you when it goes wrong. Also, don’t lie to them about seeinh them, just say “I heard you and respect your opinion, but felt strongly enough to give it a shot anyway. If it’s a mistake, it’s all mine.” At least ask what they mean by “bad person” before you involve yourself with someone dangerous.

   If you think person’s judgement isn’t great in general and you think this is yet another thing they’re wrong about, you can handle it just by saying “I appreciate you lookin’ out, but I like to make my own judgements.”

9. It depends who told me this information, my relation to them, how much I trust them and their judgment. If I don’t them that well, I will disregard the warning and probably think less of the person who warned me, not the person they’re warning me about.

   If all 10 of my closest friends warned me? Yeah I’m gonna stay away.

10. I later found out they were right.

11. Depends on what the reason is, if its petty ill shrug it off. If its a legit concern like an abuser or something, I’d be watching out and would bounce if I notice red flags.

    I form my own opinion first though.