The guy who runs the studio where I work has apparently taken an interest in me (?) He acts like he really likes me, he’s not shy about it, like he goes out of his way to pay lots of attention to me and compliment me and stuff and it *seems* genuine. I want to say it’s almost like he has a crush on me but my brain will not let me believe it and I keep second guessing everything and telling myself I’m not that great, why would he be interested in me, he could have way hotter, more successful, more important women literally any day. Why would he want me? So I keep thinking I’m imagining it or there’s some ulterior motive here.
Not going to lie, it’s super flattering until I start thinking about it and I get the same old doubts and suspicions about what it’s “really” about (like it has to be something else, it cannot actually be that he likes ME, for myself, because there is no reason for him to, etc.) and I start thinking of what else he could be after, or maybe that I’m mistaken in his intentions. I like him too, I always have, and I’m pretty terrified of misinterpreting his actions and making a fool of myself because even getting a job with his company was like a dream of mine all my life and I don’t want to screw it up. Even the idea of outright asking him if he is interested is pretty terrifying to me because what if he isn’t and it gives him a bad impression of me like I think I’m at his level or something.
TL;DR Extremely talented and well known owner of the company I work for seems romantically interested in me and I’m wallowing in self-doubt because I’m honestly nothing special. Advice?
2 comments
Getting involved with your boss or anyone really where you work, if you like and want to keep the job, is a bad idea in my experience. Would pursuing him impact your career? With that age gap, I’d maybe see if there are any rumors of him having a history of pursuing younger employees, just to be safe.
If you aren’t comfortable making the first move or asking him out, there isn’t much you can do but wait for him to make his intentions known.
That being said, you should work on building your self-esteem up. If you don’t think you are accomplished or interesting enough, those are things you can work on by expanding hobbies, interests, and getting more involved in your community. Clubs, volunteer work are other ways to get some healthy validation. I’m sure you have many qualities that a lot of people would be attracted to, and shouldn’t put yourself down.
Are you always this paranoid with relationships in your life or just this one? Don’t get me wrong, it’s good to look out for yourself but it’s not exactly normal to be expecting that everyone around you is just trying to get something from you unless you regularly keep shitty people in your life. Definitely need to work on your confidence too.