This is the second time this happened. First time was some months ago while I was walking home a woman walking towards me took a photo with her phone pointing directly at me. The flash confused me so I stopped and stood there looking at her but she just smiled and walk away. It happened too fast, I never got the chance to say anything nor ask her about it.
But today, something similar happen. I was at the gym doing deadlift and I am involuntarily contorting my face. Some guy must have found it funny and took a snap. I just noticed it because of the flash and saw the guy trying hard to contain his laughter while shuffling to hide his phone away. He must have thought it would be fun to make a meme out of my face.
Anyway, I wanted to confront him. Maybe ask him what’s so funny or even ask to delete whatever photo he took but I don’t know how. I just stared at him waiting for him to say something but he averted his gaze and pretended nothing happened until he left the gym.
What should have I done in that situation? What do you do when a stranger took a photo of you?
2 comments
Say “I did not consent to be in your photo”. Easier said than done, I know.
Some people still don’t understand that taking a photo of a person is an action that requires their consent, they may understand better though if you point out that’s illegal https://www.legalzoom.com/articles/smile-youre-on-my-cell-phone-camera-phones-and-privacy#:~:text=Never%20take%20photos%20of%20people,a%20call%20to%20the%20police.
I used to have this happen pretty regularly where I used to live – I’m guessing because I was a different ethnicity than ~80% of people and tourists there. I wrote a couple poems and short stories about it and then I eventually just gave up thinking about it. If people find me “exotic” so want photos, it IS really weird but I don’t have to let it bother me or interrupt my day. I’m normally a pretty polite person, so where I drew the line was when they would try to talk to me after taking the pictures or stalking me. I would just ignore them or walk away. My thing is, if you approach me first, I’ll chat for however long with you. But if you choose to make a spectacle of me, I don’t feel like I’m responsible for further entertaining you.
So I don’t think it’s wrong or weak to ignore them, but I also think it’s okay to say “stop it”. You could try to approach them and ask if they took a photo if you really want to know. You should find whatever way of coping that works best for you and aligns with your values.
Either way, try not to let it ruin a good day. You deserve to be happy and carefree regardless.