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Edit: I’m already getting messages
I knew I’d have to remove it
Reddit princesses strike again
The Miami Dolphins medical team
Yeah I’m not getting banned today. Instead I’ll give you an okay joke. I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks, that was way too literal for me.
I’ve never had an easy time picking a favorite anything, but here’s one.
A new monk joins a monastery. The head of the monastery is giving him the tour of the place.
“And here we make copies of the sacred texts. When a copy is made, the original is stored in the vault only I am allowed to enter, and the new text is copied again.”
“But what if someone makes a mistake?” the newcomer asks. “Wouldn’t every copy made afterwards have it?”
“…A good question,” the head monk admits. They conclude the tour, and then the head monk takes a few of the newest copies and heads down to the vault.
Days pass, and he does not come back out. The other monks are concerned, of course, but they aren’t allowed to enter. Eventually, they make a vote, and send the newcomer down to check on the head monk.
He finds the man beating his head against the wall. The head monk turns to the newcomer with a look of despair, and screams:
“THE WORD WASN’T CELIBATE, IT WAS CELEBRATE! **CELEBRATE!**”
back in 2009, i was working for the local paper and they assigned me to interview the 3 winners of a recent martial arts tournament.
i went to their dojo, and i asked the 3rd place winner, “how did you win 3rd place?” he drew his samurai sword and said “you see that fly on the wall?” and FFFFT, he sliced it cleanly in two perfectly equal halves.
i asked the 2nd place winner, “how did you win 2nd place?” he drew his samurai sword and said “you see that fly on the other wall?” and FFFT-FFFT, he sliced it cleanly into 4 equal quarters.
finally i asked the champion, “how did you win 1st place?” he drew his samurai sword and said “you see THAT fly over there?” and FFFFT, he sliced at the fly, and it took off and flew away.
i said “huh? the fly is still alive.”
he said “sure….but he’ll never have any children!!”
😂
wendy joke/jamaican man with WY tattoo on his dick
eczema is hilarious, it’s dry humor