I’m very small.
4’10 and skinny. Super petite.
My new boyfriend is slightly above average height.
He really likes the height difference and so do I.
I love to be held and picked up and doted on. I’m not opposed to getting affection.
However, I feel like he kinda pushes it. He calls me “my baby” multiple times a day. Pretty much every conversation has to lead back to him cuddling me somehow. He calls me cute and sweet and tiny.
But he doesn’t ask about my work or my passions. I want to be talked to like an adult sometimes. I want him to see me as a woman. Not a cutie girl.
He’s so cutesy with me and it feels like I’m just a stuffed teddy baby.
I want to ask him to tone it down but I don’t want to hurt his feelings or make him cold.
How do I go about this?
26 comments
Don’t ask him – TELL HIM this is unacceptable and you do not appreciate it.
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You won’t be able to because it’s the sole reason he is with you. You are a fetish. Don’t tolerate this bs. It’s gross.
Problems now with out communication constitutes future problems.
If he isn’t interested in respecting your boundaries or having adult conversation with you the he doesn’t care about you as a person, only the image of you that he likes
You have to tell him. You can’t just tip toe around it or he won’t get it.
I have fallen to the fault before. I’m very tall and had a tendency to pick up girls and throw them over my shoulder or when they got angry and were “standing their groud” I’d pick her up and move her and finish it with a pat on the head. Looking back it’s such cringy degrading show of affection. It took a girl only a little bit taller then yourself to slap the shit out of me. We were messing around and I feel into this stupid baby like voice “aw wittle won want to fool around” (I fully accept the hatred and vomit emoji comments in reaction).
She stopped me and was like “you want baby to suck on the pee pee?” I was so caught off guard and grossed out I stopped everything and it was almost unspoken that ohhhh ok that’s super gross and miss placed here. Here in this place she is a woman and I am a man.
As time progressed the baby talk(best way to describe it) became something i would do when I could feel she needed hugs or comfort. Letting her be a brat for an afternoon because she had a rough week at hospital and I’m carrying her to bed and rubbing her booty while she falls asleep. All these things you develop over time and thru communication.
I hope this helped a little sounds like yall vibe on other levels this is the only one not melding
If your body is all he sees about you, and he shows no interest whatsoever in who you are as a person, what your dreams are, what your hobbies are, what your goals in life are… then he is only interested in your body. It doesn’t actually matter how good as a person he is. What matters is how he makes you feel. If he doesn’t make you feel as an equal, this is your answer.
Oh Jesus y’all are dramatic.
Fellow small girl here. Yes, we bring out the side of men that can make them either over protective and dominant, or get them labeling us as “cute”.
Me, personally? I embrace the cute. But that’s just my personality.
Just tell him, “I love how you dote on me and make me feel special, but sometimes there’s so much focus on how cute and little I am, that I don’t feel sexy anymore. I don’t mind being your cute girl, but I don’t want it all the time. Sometimes, I would feel sexier and more capable if I felt like you respected me as an adult woman as well.”
Or something like that.
He’s probably honestly not fetishizing you or being a creep. Work through it.
A sit down conversation will fix this.
Just say you like the cute stuff but you want the big girl stuff as well. Then pat him on the head and say, “good boy, now make baby a sandwich”.
But honestly, I can’t blame him. I love this dynamic myself.
My idea of the perfect woman is a girl who kicks ass in the outside world but then comes home and wants to be carried everywhere, wrapped in blankets and constantly hugged and loved up.
I have no idea where it came from either. I grew up in a family of career women. They were all tough as fuck and super successful.
Have you talked to him about this behavior yet?
Nobody else get ped vibes….👀
Hey, i’m around the same height as you and never experienced this. I want you to think first how is he your boyfriend if he never talks about anything about your work or passions? That should’ve been discussed before the commitment.
If your height of the only thing he talks about it’s a fetish. I would move on and get someone else who is actually interested in me as a person.
Find someone else, you’re being progressively turned into a fetish
You feel like you are being fetishized included in your boyfriend’s kink without your consent.
Just tell him that straight to his face then watch his response. If he apologizes, things can work out if he immediately goes on the attack and tries to make this your fault or any other multitude of ginormous red flags I imagine are about to come your way that this is just a L and it’s time to move on
He has a fetish
Just be honest! He may also be feeling trapped in a cycle of “positively accepted behavior”, like new relationship shyness and this is the personality he has shown you that you accepted and maybe he’s shy about branching out.
Tell him the things you posted. “Honey it’s sweet when you dote on me I love it, but honestly right now I’d love to (vent about work) (show you some stuff I’m passionate about) (discuss a goal I have) (or whatever). Would you like to do that with me?”
He might be eager to branch out and discuss these things and not only accept your invitation to a deeper level, but might be very enthusiastic about it
I just met a guy liked this. I expressed my dealbreaker is a man who thinks it is so cute to make mad. It is not cute to make someone mad ever. He told me ‘but you are so adorable’. Yep done.
Date someone shorter.
So why not try this statement next time you are feeling that way by him. “Hey. A little more substance a little less fetish”
He will probably be like “what do you mean” and then boom let the productive conversation begin
Pedophilia vibes
Tell him exactly what you wrote here. If its hurts his feelings, maybe he’s the baby after all
>I want to ask him to tone it down but I don’t want to hurt his feelings or make him cold.
Tell him u want to be treated as an adult? You should be able to talk about it in a relationship, there is nothing wrong with that. It annoys you so TALK about it!
Sounds like he has a fetish and you fit the bill. I think you should ask him that directly. Cause if you found out he has a fetish for short girls or sexual baby (or age play?? Idk) play then would you still be interested? That’s where it seems the ship is sailing, and i don’t think a stern conversation or request to be seen as a woman will be entirely effective if he really just wants to only see you as some sort of tiny toy.
Stop being such a baby about…..oh wait…..
Nevermind.
Imagine making problems out of none problems