We just have a casual thing going (her idea) and I’m extremely attracted to her.
The problem is, she wants to have sex but is super self conscious and talks badly about herself throughout.
She doesn’t want to have sex with the lights on which is a shame because I’d love to see more of her.
She doesn’t want me to touch her belly because she says I’ll think it’s gross. But one time my dick bumped into it accidentally and I came all over it immediately. How is that for proof I don’t think it’s gross?
Lol idk how to help or if I can at this point. But I’m not even sure a casual thing will work if she is going to say she is gross the whole time when I give her lots of kisses and attention.
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You might not be able to change her view about herself, but you could be able to make her trust you. For me, spontaneous praise about my overall look and specific parts do the trick, as well as just having a conversation about it. I don’t know how much you’ve already tried though.
The level of anxiety and self loathing she has really needs the help of a therapist.
While you can do things to try and assure her, etc…if she doesn’t do the work on herself (with regard to self esteem), nothing you can say or do will have an impact.
The problem with her feeling insecure about her body is that she won’t believe you every time that you complement her. She’ll immediately think that you’re insincere and she won’t accept your complement. Cognitive behavioral therapy, CBT, would teach her how to reduce the intensity and frequency of her negative thoughts in the long term.
In the short term you could sit down and explain to her why you like chubby women. You can mention that you like things that she feels insecure about such as her belly. You could even explain to her that you had a good idea of what she’s look like with her clothes off because you’re good at estimating what women look like when they have their clothes off. This is a skill that men start to develop when they hit puberty.
You could also respond to her negative remarks about herself by saying “Why are you hurting my friend?”. My petty side thinks that you could respond to her negative remarks by saying “That’s why I like fucking you. However, I don’y think that will get you the results that you want.
The FAQ has a section abut body image issues that includes includes a link to what a partner can do to help. [https://www.reddit.com/r/sex/wiki/index/#wiki_overall_body](https://www.reddit.com/r/sex/wiki/index/#wiki_overall_body)
Bordoir photography helped me tremendously! Just one session & when I saw the pictures I felt a new kind of sexy.
Body dysmorphia sucks
First define chubby?