Basically the title, I just had sex for the first time last night and I sucked. She has experience with a few other guys in the past but I was still figuring it out for the first time.
The first time (2 times in a night) I fucked her for about 5 minutes before I went completely flacid. I’ve never had issues getting hard before, but as soon as I need it my cock it didn’t work. I fingered her for a bit, but she noticed and offered to stop. We cuddled for a bit and I got hard again. We started fucking again, however this time I stayed hard but given the sensation of her vagina was so different than what im used to (my hand) I couldn’t cum. I also felt I was laying on top of her the entire time because everytime I would sit up, my penis would pop out of her.
We eventually stopped because we ran out of time and I had to drive her home (she had a 3AM curfew).
I’m actually so embarassed and hate myself right now.
16 comments
you aren’t experienced so you couldn’t have been a pro at it! give yourself a break man it happens to everyone
Forget about the need to cum or make her cum, focus on the moment, focus on giving her pleasure and also dont forget the pleasure it gives yourself.
That 1st time is always gonna suck. No matter when or with who ^^… the tension, the dumb porn perspective in your head.
Your sharing a moment with someone you love or get to enjoy. Your sharing ur body and pleasure and more. Those are the things that count.
2nd time ain’t probably gonna go a lot better. Just try to enjoy it, have fun and laugh it away. Take breaks if you need to. Cumming can always be done afterwards, by yourself if you need that relief. Same goes for her, together that stuff still counts as sex 😉.
The high stress of your first time can mess with your dick in weird ways. Many have trouble getting up, Cumming too soon, not being able to Cum, etc.
I thought having trouble getting up your first time was a myth/exception until my first time 😅
Your problem was that you’ve only previously used your hand and you were stressed.
That isn’t unusual for a first time. You don’t need to stop entirely if you go soft, you can switch to oral and fingering.
Keep working on pleasuring her, you’ll probably enjoy it as well. It’s important for you to relax and get used to being inside a women instead of stroking your dick.
Yo man, first time experiences are typically what you described. Really, don’t worry about it. Just try to have fun, make sure the person you’re with is having fun and try not to take it too seriously. I have a lot of experience and the first time with a new person isn’t always great but is a good time to try to get comfortable with that new person.
First off what you’re experiencing is normal (sadly). You aren’t the problem by any means is what I’m getting at. By the sounds of it your sex partner seems to either know this will happen or unbothered by it all which is really awesome. Try to keep talking with her and if you feel comfortable, be vulnerable and tell her that you feel pretty embarrassed about how it went down. Admitting you were nervous because of how she makes you feel could open a conversation that’ll ease you and make things better next time. If. She doesn’t want to talk to you anymore it’ll hurt but just know some people can’t take the awkward struggles of others well and that’s not something you need to shoulder as a fault.
Being that our culture doesn’t talk about sex outside of sneaky conversations on the side with people we trust, things like this don’t go explained often and cause us all issues.
It sounds like some performance anxiety as well as issues around Deathgrip during masturbation.
Performance anxiety is normal, if anyone shames you for it or takes offense to you going flaccid they weren’t educated. You being rock hard isn’t always a sign you’re in the mood. So of course you may be mentally stoked for what’s about to happen and your body hasn’t caught up.
Foreplay can help as you noticed, just being intimate without pressure to perform any task and relaxed can make a world of difference.
As far as the lack of feeling goes, if you got your body used to lots of pressure (especially without any form of lubricant) then sex doesn’t feel as good unless you are really turned on by what’s happening (like driven mad levels of horny haha)
It takes time but absolutely a thing you can (and should) fix. It’ll make sex so much more enjoyable for everyone involved, you’ll feel more connection and overall have more fun.
I’d suggest getting a masturbator toy and lube. I found it so hard to resist the urge to tighten up my hand so you kinda have to get away from it. A toy has a specific sensation without the pressure and you can’t achieve the same pressure with your hand as you could normally. Doing it this way will get you more used to getting off to the sensation and motions rather than pure pressure. Masturbate less, make it a treat for yourself and not so much an everyday activity (at least not for a while). Daily isn’t so much of an issue it’s more so the turning to it out of habit or bordem, really look to feel in the mood.
Other than that you could experiment with positions as well. missionary is more of an intimate position than stimulating while doggy is a bit more stimulating but less intimate (which can give you a break from the pressure and allow you to relax sometimes)
Hope any of that helps
You’re being way, way too hard on yourself. Sex takes practice, nobody’s first time is what you see in porn videos. Hell, for 99% of us ***none*** of our sex lives are what you see in porn videos. We all get soft at the wrong time, we all “pop out” in certain positions, we all have stuff that we can’t get off to. You’re not going to know what works for you after one night.
My first time wasn’t my first time at all, because the guy actually couldn’t get his dick in me at all. And I was terrible at giving head so he didn’t finish. And I tried using a vibrator at one point to try help with the Malfunctioning Pussy aspect of things, and he was so sad about it that he lost his erection immediately 🥴 first times are always a horror show lol. Afterwards he made me spaghetti Bolognese and he’s still my boyfriend and thankfully the sex is great now. Your experience is more normal than effortlessly great sex.
Next time will be better 🙂
Top three tips to save your life here-
1. Stop masturbating
2. Stop watching porn
3. Don’t overthink during sex and focus on the sensations throughout your body!
Thank me later G
Everybody sucks at sex when losing their virginity, welcome to the club of literally everybody.
Everyone sucks their first time dude, don’t worry about it.
Well, stamina, being able to keep going for a long time, is typically viewed as a valued skill. Think about that. This was your first time, so give yourself a break. Sex requires a bit of a learning curve and experience with communicating with your partner almost always makes you better. And the act of sex usually doesn’t benefit by thinking of it as a performance where folks on the sidelines will flash their 1 through 10 ratings when you’re done. Relax, talk with her about this with a focus on asking what she likes and doesn’t as much. You kept an erection and were able to perform without blowing it a few strokes in. That’s a pretty big win actually. Be a little more relaxed about this and have fun. If you find you can’t get off PIV, ask her if she could give you some oral or finish yourself.
Take it as a learning experience and don’t let it define you.
Just a few things to comment on:
1. Anxiety – you mentioned the nerves at the beginning – do some thinking about what you really need in that moment to be less anxious. Do you lower the expectations? Do you focus more on oral sex?
2. Different sensations of hand vs vagina – this can be addressed by not masturbating or by using ONLY a pocket pussy to masturbate, nothing tighter
3. Erection issues – are you on an antidepressant? That can affect things
Did she know it was your first time? Please talk to her and be honest. Tell her you’d like to work on it with her so that you can both have a good time!
You should get better with more experience
It’s a long road ahead buddy. Very rare that anyone would be better in the beginning. Think that it’s now over with and just have fun with it. The average male last less than 5 minutes so don’t be hard on yourself. No pun intended there.