My ex (24f) and I (26m) have been broken up for 3 months.
Throughout these 3 months she has consistently asked me and/or my friends if I am talking to other girls every few weeks.
Most recently she reached out to my best friends gf asking if I am talking to any girls and asking who I went with to go see Post Malone (it was my sister lol).
The main reason for our breakup was because she was unsure about what she wanted in her life and was feeling lost. She felt she was holding me back from being happy while she tried to sort out her past.
She made it clear that her heart wants to be with me but logically she thinks it doesnt make sense right now since she doesnt know what she wants.
Im confused cause she says we still need to be a part to “process the relationship”, but she continues to try and keep tabs on me. It seems she doesnt want to let go and im trying to get an idea as to why.
Why does she keep asking about if im with other girls. Ive made it clear to her that i want to be with her and i dont have eyes for anyone else nor trying to date.
TLDR: Why does my ex keep asking if im talking to other girls and showing concern?
9 comments
I would reach out to her directly and tell her to stop. She broke up with you because she thought she was holding you back. This kind of behavior is her actively trying to hold you back. She ended the relationship. You get to move on with your life. She needs to back off.
What did she say when you asked her why this is any of her business?
Have a 1:1 honest converaation with her and ask her. Tell her that her behavior is confusing to ypu, because you thought she wanted to break up.
Let her know that if you arent together, its none of her business who you are dating (or not). Go NC with her if she continues with this type of behavior, because its pretty toxic and confusing, especially if you still have feelings and shes the one who broke it off.
This is a difficult question to answer without knowing more about your situation. If you are talking to other girls, it is possible that your ex is feeling jealous or threatened by this. Alternatively, your ex may simply be curious about your social life and who you are spending time with. If your ex is repeatedly asking you about your social life, it may be a good idea to have a conversation with them to see what their motives are.
Why don’t you block her? Then tell your friends not to answer any questions that are about you. Done!
I would definitely block her. Wanting to get out of the relationship with you, fine, but with the constant calls she’s definitely guilty of what she mentioned first. She’s holding you back with all of this.
I had someone do this And let me.just say. It’s definitely not in your nest intrest to wait. But I could be wrong. My ex kept reaching out to me.and some friends just because I was actively going out and since I don’t do social media all the post she had seen was from other friends…. she would call me when I was out as she knew everywhere I went and I had no choice but to block her. And when I did she would call friends gfs to talk to me!!!! While I in turn found out she was dating around… I confronted her about it in front of everyone when she showed up at a friend’s party. Because what she didn’t know was that one of her friends had sent me pics of her and the guys she was with and when she slept over their house as proof that she was lying to me about she was just taking time for herself.. least to say… all of her friends and mytual.friends dropped her because of what she was doing to me….
This is behavior I would expect from someone a bit younger tbh, it’s very immature and it’s preventing both of you from moving forward. It is none of her business who you are or aren’t talking to. You could message her and say it’s not helpful for either of you when she does this, and you wish to be no-contact for the foreseeable future. I understand hoping someone will change their mind, and the pain and hope that comes from mixed messages, but it is always healthier and better for your own mental well-being to close that door if the other person refuses to. It’s always hard, but in the long run you will thank yourself.
She doesn’t want you and doesn’t want anyone else to have you.
Block her and tell your friends to stop entertaining her questions.