F(23) first time being intimate? (Update!)

9 comments

1. I’m happy he’s planning everything I don’t wanna make it a big deal. He said there’s more surprises so I’m excited! But also nervous because idk when we’re actually doing it? We haven’t talked about it

2. D/s dynamics are a bit much for a first encounter. I’d ask him to dial it back until you can have some specific conversations about boundaries and consent.

3. As a man who’d love to make these types of “plans” for a girl i’d advice you to ask him to dial it back and keep it vanilla for the first time because you and him both have no idea if it will work out well. Start out simple and after that communicate clearly and work from there.

   There is a time and place to do kinky stuff like outfits or collars or to bring surprises to the bedroom, the first time is NOT that time.

4. ⚠️ it’s not responsible to plan kinky surprises without established communication and boundaries.

5. If you are going to go through with it, take it slow and be really up front about what you want.

6. Major red flags.

7. Ok understand you want to please him. But it sounds like he is going to take advantage of your inexperienced self. This is not some romantic version of 50 shades of grey. Frankly he would be super irresponsible dom to do this right off the bat and you have never done anything vanilla. It’s fine to dress up and flirty stuff for foreplay. But the collar and other things dial it down for your first time. And please for the love of god use the safe word or traffic signals if you are not comfortable with anything. Do not push through your discomfort you are going to more harm to yourself if you do.

8. You should read my post here:
   https://www.reddit.com/r/sex/comments/xmh61u/interested_in_bdsm_read_this/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share

   As far as collaring, there are alot of things he is probably going to expect out of you if he collars you. That means he is establishing himself as the dominate in your relationship and as his submissive, you might be expected to do things you are not ready for/aware of. Be careful.

9. Uh girl I’m a slutty person through and through but I would run for my life if I were in your position!!!