We went out on a date last month and I had been going to his house on a weekly basis. The last time I went was on Thursday I brought him dinner and we cooked together once. We cuddled and had sex a few times. He also told me he liked my company and he also mentioned that I gave him the best blowjob he’s ever had.
Also when I was at his house he told me about how he’s been working a lot of hours (he’s an electrician) And he said his friend was going to get him some side jobs. This is why I don’t think he’s lying about being busy.
I hadn’t heard from him since Thursday and yesterday he sent me this. I asked him if he was interested in someone else and he said it isn’t that.
[https://thumbs2.imgbox.com/74/c6/DPFWiPVo\_t.png](https://thumbs2.imgbox.com/74/c6/DPFWiPVo_t.png)
*I told him I was leaving my sex stuff at his house and he said ok. I don’t get why he would let me leave my sex stuff there if he knew he wasn’t going to want to see me again? Also have a pair of his underwear I took them because I like his scent. When we first had sex he told me he didn’t want me to think he was just using me for sex.*
24 comments
Too busy to date you or too busy to have sex with you?
If “too busy to date” that’s guy code for “I’ll sleep with you when I’m really horny but I’m not interested in giving you any more of my time”
If “too busy to have sex” that means he was really down bad to the point he couldn’t find anyone else to sleep with him except you and once he got his nut he’s over it
He had his sex and now he’s done. Try to learn from the experience, if you’re looking for more than hookups.
He was chasing you for the sex. Once he got it he lost interest.
He found the time to go on dates and hook up with you, but suddenly now he has zero time to continue communication? Trust me, if he really wanted to date you he would try to make it work
Sucks, but just move on
Some people are genuinely busy and prioritize career over dating.
In fact, that’s what I recommend to most people. Build yourself up, focus on your career.
Does it matter if he is too busy or just doesn’t want to date you? Either way the end result for you is the same he isn’t interested regardless of the reason…take the L and move on
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From the replies you’ve made in this thread your mind is completely closed to anything but the answer you want.
So, sure, he loves you wants to marry you but he’s just really busy right now.
Ask him if he wants to keep fucking.
Women do it, men do it, everyone does it. If we don’t want to see the other person, we make up a poorly thought out lie about how we are busy/can’t make it/not in a good place right now/focused on something else/etc…
These are nothing more than excuses instead of admitting that the person doesn’t want to date you without specifying the real reason, because it would probably be more hurtful and/or awkward to say. I am 100% sure that you also lied in a similar way to some guy that you didn’t want to see, so you just “happened to be busy” everytime he asked to see you.
Whether this is a mature response is not for me to decide, but it is, in 99% of the cases, a lie that people tell all the time.
U keep repeating your self to someone gives u the answer you want. He’s made it clear its OVER..
End of just move on
Ypu keep sticking up for him and making excuses for him .why are u asking for advice. This don’t make sense at all
As someone who has written this message a few times; he doesn’t want to take things further with you. Happy to hang out and have sex though and would continue to spend time together for as long as you’ll do it without being annoying about feelings and commitment
This exact phenomena is one of the most fascinating psychological occurrences in human beings. On one hand, this person provides a dopamine rush and makes us feel good, so we logically don’t want them to go anywhere.
Secondly, our ego protection kicks in where when someone gives us a clear cut exit statement from our life implying they’re no longer interested in a future with us, we tend to latch onto whatever excuse they used as if it may be true to avoid the painful thought of “they don’t want me.” For whatever reason, we cannot see it with clarity for what it is – if this person wanted a future with us, they wouldn’t be exiting our lives.
For me, it was just an aha moment that came with maturing / having relationships end. If you don’t wanna be in my life, why would I want you in mine?
I can see why he’s done with you after reading all your replies here. Yikes.
If you’re not a bot (based on the repetition and randomness of your answers), I would **strongly** recommend you seeking therapy. Once again, based on the repetition and randomness of your answers.
A wise man once told me, “Grown men don’t go without sex. If he’s not fucking you he’s fucking someone else.”
It doesn’t matter what the reason is, he’s clearly communicated that he isn’t interested in pursuing it any further. Grieve and move on!
He isn’t interested. End of.
Edit: you keep asking about the sex stuff. He clearly wants to have sex with you again, but doesn’t want to date you.
Listen I don’t know if you’re young and don’t have much experience with dating, but looking at your post history and seeing you’ve only been talking about this situation and arguing with people when they give you advice.
But you need to just stop. He sent him a message saying you can just be his FwB and obviously he doesn’t want that (otherwise he would have texted you back and said yeah that works for me) he’s saying he’s to busy because he’s not interested in seeing you again.
Yes he might like you company but he clearly doesn’t wanna see you again if he doesn’t even wanna be FwB.
You’re also coming off really clingy and that’s not a good luck. I get it, it sucks I’ve been there but move on. Who cares why he let you leave your stuff there for a short time. Who cares that you asked him to put it in a box so you can pick up. Who cares. He doesn’t wanna see you again. Maybe he’s busy like he says maybe he’s just not interested in you at all and was only nice to you to have sex. Move on and stop obsessing over this guy.
I really don’t understand why you went through the trouble to write in a sub about dating advice when you really don’t want to listen to what people have to say. You don’t have to agree with it 100% but the least you can do is give it a thought since you asked for it in the first place. Its seems like you already made your mind about the situation.
My opinion is that this dude had his fun and never planned on taking it further and about the work stuff he may be lying or he may not. If you want to believe him that’s your choice. I think that he lied or exaggerated the truth so that he can have a better excuse as to why he doesn’t want to date you. Now, on why he let you leave your stuff at his place when he was planning to end it with you. Maybe he didn’t have the guts to say it in person and through a message it was easier for him. Maybe he wasn’t at it just for his fun but after you left his house he thought about the future of your relationship and it didn’t really work out for him. We can sit and discuss about all the possibilities but this will go nowhere. Accept the fact that this relationship is done, get your stuff back and try to move on.
Here’s a lesson I learned the hard way: believe him.
It doesn’t matter what he’s saying, or what you think he’s saying, just … believe him. Don’t try to change his mind, don’t overthink. Take it on the chin, suck it up and believe what he’s saying.
When he meets a girl he’s crazy about, he suddenly won’t be so busy, or using that as an excuse. That girl is not you. It sounds harsh, I’m sorry about that, but it’s not a negative reflection of you.
Chalk it up to an experience and go out and find a guy who won’t feed you bullshit like, “I’m sorry I haven’t text you in six days, I’m busy and didn’t even have time to take ten seconds out of my week to explain that to you.”
You deserve better than that. Always.
I’m not saying he’s lying but what I am saying is that if someone likes you a lot, to the point of long term potential, being an electrician (with side jobs) wouldn’t lead to a text like that. There would at least be an attempt at making time. It sounds more like this may have been his plan for awhile and he started dropping hints when you saw him last, he just didn’t want to drop the bomb in person.
I like how you asked if electricians work a lot on an electricians sub
Honestly if I noticed that someone stole my underwear I’d be freaked out enough to make up whatever excuse I could to get them away from me.