Hello everyone, I hope you are all doing well.

I just wanted to share that after getting rejected/ghosted/stood up for 4 years, I finally had my first date with a lovely lady for 8 hours. We met for dinner, had a bunch of laughs, played pool and then talked outside on a bench at a park.

She texted me the next day saying she had fun but didn’t think we were a good match. I told her no problem and that she’s a fun and interesting person so I’m sure she would have no trouble finding a good partner and wished her the best. She was very genuine and I’m really glad that she was my first date.

I don’t know why I had such a bad experience with dating for many years. I always felt really bad about waiting for someone who never planned on showing up. But I always took myself out on “dates” after the fact. I got to meet great people along the way. For example, I became great friends with the staff at some of my restaurants/venues that I chose for a date.

I think this one date made me happy that I went through the trouble to finally get to experience something new in my life.

I just wanted to share my experience for anyone who may feel like their efforts aren’t yielding any results, because that’s how I felt for awhile. I wish I didn’t have to wait so long but I’m glad I pushed through and got the experience I’ve been wanting for so long.

My next goals in life is to get my first kiss and get a second date. Hopefully these goals comes sooner than a couple years.

Another thing I’d like to say is, learning from these experiences, I told myself I don’t want anyone to feel the way I feel when I get ghosted/stood up. So I’ll never ghost anyone or stand someone up on a date. If I don’t feel like it’s a good match, I’ll communicate honestly and give closure.

Thanks for reading, wishing you the best in your adventures.

19 comments

  1. I’m happy for you mate, keep this positive attitude that’s your strength 💪 and eventually you will find what you want at the end and keep having fun in dates because there will be up and downs 😉

  2. Imagine being so lonely, that a rejection on a first date feels like the greatest success you have had in 4 years.

  3. Make a best friend First then turn her into your girlfriend . That’s how I found the live of my life and married her.

  6. You’re doing a great job. It sounds like you had a great date and sometimes things don’t work out. It all happens for a reason in my opinion. Keep trying and being true to who you are. You’re brave and trying and I wish you the best!

  7. If I may suggest, marathon long dates like 8 hours might feel good in the moment, but they can backfire later on.

    If someone likes you, they’ll see you again after a four hour date. An 8 hour date is a lot to put on a person, even if they’re enjoying themselves in the moment, and they might feel like they’re burned out and not up for a second 8 hour date. Or just get the feeling that it’s going to be a really intense, all consuming relationship.

    It’s easy to keep going if it’s going well, but it’s healthy to show you have boundaries and believe in people having space as well.

  10. yeah first dates for men and women is to figure out if there is some sort of chemistry between you two. Something simple and casual is the best way to go. Dating is essentially introducing a small slice of what you like and who you are as a person. So (drinks, coffee, parks, etc) that doesnt require alot of commitment.

  11. So happy for you. This is very nice to read. I will caution you in your line of thinking. The number one way to not get a second date, is to go into the first one trying to get a second date. Women can sense this. They pick up on small queues of you trying to make them like you. Go into the date and have fun. It’s addictive to other people. If you show someone that you’re a fun person and have your own life, then they will come back for more. Also, go into the date with the mindset of, if you even want to date this person. I know that’s far harder said than done. However, trust me, being single is far more enjoyable than being in a bad relationship.

  13. Now its at leats 4 years of rejection after dates. But hey once in a while you gonna have sex.

  15. Mate, you sound like a balanced chap with a good outlook. Big hugs and wishing you all the best.

  16. I love your attitude and perseverance. I would have given up by now….but maybe I have a negative attitude!
    Keep going! You sound like a sweetheart and someone lucky will find you!

  17. Woo hoo! Successful date is a wonderful thing.
    Thank you for not ghosting. I think it’s much better to give a gentle rejection and reason why. Ghosting is hurtful.

  18. Dating sucks for average men.

    I am in the same boat, I can’t get any date so I can’t screen among girls to find a good partner.

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