I never loved it but I could muster it before the pandemic – after spending a year or two alone working from home in a solo apartment I seem to now find it insufferably boring and I’m simply just no good at it anymore.
I think I’ve become quite bitter and cynical after reading more about the world and that certainly hasn’t helped but maybe there’s some depression lurking because I just don’t find my humour or excitement in the average conversation anymore.
As much as I dislike small talk In a world full of interesting topics I realise how necessary it is to connect with people early on at least so I need to improve again – I take it the only way to do so is just to throw myself into it and get talking to people?
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So I’m terrible at small talk. Big time bad. So much so that I developed strategies to use if I ever need to small talk.
– People love being listened to.
– Ask about them: things they’ve done recently, interests, opinions on ideas.
– Introduce relatable topics and then bounce an opinion of them to get them to talk
– “I had to teach this lady on the phone yesterday how to restart her computer, shit was bad. Don’t you hate it when people are that technologically illiterate?”
– It’s much easier to small talk if you have a story to tell.
– That time you broke your leg, or ate a hamburger from the trash as a dare.
– Ask for their opinion on peculiar or divisive or interesting topics.
– “I read that apparently morticians apply makeup to cadavers before a viewing, isn’t that weird?”
Good luck and I hope that helps.
it’s quite easy to just talk to an extrovert because they love talking about themselves. sound interested and ask questions that trigger them and you’ve done it. every now and then mention your opinion / a comment so it doesn’t seem like an interview
i hate small talk too and here’s what i’ve done.
simply don’t do it (if you can). it’s boring.
try to be genuinely interested in what the other person is saying and ask them questions about themselves. don’t turn it into an interrogation though. share some things about yourself too.
keep things light and breezy. make relatable remarks or jokes.
if you feel like things are getting a little too awkward then leave the conversation. say you have somewhere to go. no use beating a dead horse.
and of course. remember that they might not like small talk either and may be equally or more nervous/anxious than you. at the end of the day it’s just one conversation that’s all.