Fighting For Respect

I have to fight for respect in my home. I’m a SAHM and the lack of respect is unreal. My kids are just kids and respect me well enough and my husband does okay as well…but when it comes to something important to me… all bets are off. Respect is only given if it doesn’t inconvenience them.

I feel like I’m fighting for respect as if I’m fighting for equality. I tried bringing this up to my husband and let him know I wanted to talk about something that’s been bothering me. I set things up with him but he changed plans and then we had huge fight because again he disrespected me by gifting his friend money (he snuck that bit of info at a restaurant we took my sister to in celebration of her new job) when I made it clear I wasn’t comfortable with it and his friends had options but wasn’t using them. He should try those first before we decide to help.

I mean a big fight. I slept on the couch I was so mad. He made too many excuses, used semantics as a defense mechanism, and kept saying it’s not a big deal. All I know if it was me and I did something like this he would have pooped himself.

My kids heard us fighting and agree with me (and said so in front of dad! )but I made it known in front of us all that…I’m glad they have opinions and I respect them. I’m sorry they heard us fight but it’s really important that they don’t pick sides between daddy and mommy. That would really hurt his feelings/ vice versa. It’s more important to find a solution and come to an understanding about what’s happening.

We’re in therapy now but that was a fight to get happening too. What sucks even more is after our fight I left a voicemail to our therapist asking for an emergency session due to this and he didn’t even know who I was and asked for intake papers! We already have had 3 visits, 1 per 3 weeks and we just had a session 2 days prior to this fight.

I have no support system. Just my husband. He also had a lack of support. Just me. I’m at the point where I might as well put our kids back in public school, quit homeschooling, and get a job. At least in a job I could care less if I’m disrespected or ignored because a pay check would be worth it. Then I could also spend my own money and save what I want without being nickel and dimed by my husband for using instacart instead of Walmart delivery.