She left and never came back

Girlfriend of a year left for treatment across the country, and never came back. Stopped all communication. She doesn’t talk to her family much so they don’t know much either. It’s been months now, so I’ve accepted it. I don’t know if this is the spot but sometimes I just vent my thoughts for therapy.

Our last day together before you left, you were so nervous. I’ve seen you that way before, but you had me so worried I had to tell you to stop and breathe. You told me about everything that could go wrong, and people being disappointed in you. You told me you thought I wouldn’t want you anymore. We hugged, and then we kissed. Then you brought me in for another which was really cute. I never saw you again.

I don’t need an apology. You owe me nothing. Just know that I don’t hate you. Did you know that I already had us booked for that Ball at the Omni? I wanted to see you in that dress you told me about, gawk at you stupidly because you looked so stunning, and proudly show you off. I know we can’t go to that now. Or go hunt houses together for something we could call ours. But my memories of you are good ones.

You introduced me to mock tails(it was tasty) and it was the first time I told you I wanted to give you a key. That night feels like it was so long ago, but I’ll never forget the way your eyes lit so brightly when I told you that. You weren’t having the best day. You told me some uncomfortable things and maybe you weren’t too confident if I still wanted you. That was my answer. Hell yes I want you.

I remember so many good things about you. So many random moments. I remember when we went to the gym and you were waiting for me outside the locker room. You were smiling so lovingly. You were dripping sweat, with nothing but a little lip gloss and you made my heart race faster than my workout did. God you were so gorgeous. I’ve been to that gym a million times, but that moment is most vivid to me. When you’re with me, the mundane and the normal become spectacular.

I miss our home dinners. We never got them right lol. It was always too little or too much, or we were missing an ingredient, or we got too lost in a spicy kiss while something burned, but it always ended up tasting amazing. I miss the way you snuggled into my chest, the warmth of your skin, and how it felt to awake just like that, and begin a new day with you by my side. I miss our soft kiss goodbye before you left for work, and how as soon as you stepped out this place felt so lonely and cold, all because you were gone.

I remember the silly little dances you did down the lane when you got a strike on our bowling night(I still kicked your butt) and how I’m sure everyone was looking at us but I didn’t give a damn. I was so proud to be with you.

I wish I could ask you how you’re doing. I can only guess at it, but I hope you’re well. It saddens me that I’ll likely never see you again. I’m saddened by how this turned out. Despite that, I want you to feel appreciated. I wish you happiness.