What are the main differences between friendly roasting and actual disrespect?

20 comments

1. If it gets too personal. Friendly roasting you can normally tell they’re just busting your balls. Actual disrespect you can tell is a personal attack. If you think the lines are starting to blur, talk about it. “Hey x really bothers me and I’d appreciate if we didn’t joke about it”

2. Its hard to explain, you just know when your boys are messing with you

3. The line is quite thin between the two.

4. It’s the latter until you call it out, then it’s the first one and you can’t prove it otherwise. That’s the beauty of hiding behind that excuse.

5. I feel like you really define it that line between you and your friends. Everything is fair until a boundary is set. Also jabs that feel too personal definitely is disrespect.

6. My friends and I can be brutal, but if anyone ever calls the subject off the table or actually looks hurt then it’s no longer a roast but bullying. When I cross the line I apologise and never make a joke of that again.

   I think that’s the difference, if you tell them it hurts when they say something, if they apologise profusely and sincerely it was a well intentioned roast.

7. It really comes down to “Laughing at you vs Laughing with you”

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   The context is really important.

8. So, honestly it’s more about your interpretation
   If he’s laughing about it, he’s coming at you jokingly. Though he can’t *read* your uncomfortability. You have to tell him.

9. There is no clear line.

   But it is more important how it makes you feel. Just because someone means something as a joke doesn’t invalidate your feelings.

10. A good roast brings you down, but no lower than I am willing to be brought down as well. It never makes you feel inferior. And above all, it has to be funny.

11. if i can trust a friend with my wallet, keys or girlfriend. I dont consider anything they say to me as disrepectful.

12. I’ve found that over my time on this rock, even friendly roasting isn’t something I like to do much any more. It started to occur to me that even in a joking way, it’s still cutting somebody. And if you care about the person, that’s not something I should be doing.

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    Now, this was a difficult journey for me. Because I’m really good at cutting people down. It always came naturally, I’m good at it, I’m fast at it too. Have had several people tell me how clever, quick-witted, and funny I am. People rolling with laughter when I do it.

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    So it wasn’t easy to start seeing it differently. But I don’t like it much any more, and instead try to find ways to build people up. Especially if I like them.

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    I do however let loose on reddit. Because frankly, most redditors can’t understand anything other than brutal embarrassment for their stupidity.

13. My experience was that dates and female friends misunderstood my sarcasm and poking fun at them most of the time…at least until they got to know me. Is he smiling or straight faced when he does this?

14. It comes down to how you feel. If you find it funny, then treat it as roasting. If you feel hurt, it’s disrespectful. In other words, they can be insulting you, but you can treat it as roast and vice-versa.

15. Intent.

    If you don’t know the difference (when it comes to him since we can’t read his mind)

    Just

    Ask

    Him.

    Talk to him in order to get this confusion cleared up.

16. Friendly roasting is when that friend brings you up WAAAYYYY more than they put you down roasts you it’s never directed at something that actually hurts. They’ll probably make jokes about something you accidentally did or a minor bad habit you have and you aren’t insecure about it

17. the intent, men and women are super different in this way because if a woman is joking most of the time its disrespect while i can say the most fucked up godawful thing to my friends and its still just a joke

18. Situational but the fact that you can actually take a roast and not get offended by it, Basically as long as it isn’t too personal.

    Then you can say something back.

19. What kind of stuff he saying?

20. Friends who roast you know your insecurities and don’t go there.

    It becomes disrespectful when you cross that line.