to preface this, i have a psychology background and while i understand the logistics/science of everything, i can’t seem to stop “falling in infatuation.”
i’m fairly certain i’m neurodivergent (adhd) and when i start talking to someone that i’m interested in, i notice myself forming an emotional bond to them quite quickly, often hyperfixating on that person. i know it’s not healthy to do this and that i may just be infatuated with the *idea* of them, but i’m not sure how to stop this bad habit.
if you’ve felt like this before, how do you get yourself to stop?
if you have tips on grounding yourself and taking a step back to see the reality, etc. that’d be really helpful.
p.s. i tend to overthink and i may also have an anxious attachment style so that’s also a fun addition to the mix…
any advice is appreciated thanks
5 comments
Who said infatuation is bad? It’s obsession that is bad. You cannot stop infatuation, but you can control if you can act on it. It’s just a waiting game till it gets over.
Knowing it’ll pass. There’s nothing wrong with feeling chemistry with someone. Don’t do anything drastic and just enjoy the attraction. No big deal.
So far my method of stepping back into reality is distractions. Video games, tv shows, even homework and assignments are helping. Also had a friend calm me down last week, which really helped. Been going through the same thing for about 2 weeks now but I feel it’s starting to die down, thankfully.
Try to meet a few new people at time that way your brain has to split it’s attention between 2 or 3 people and won’t get so attached to anyone person.
I so appreciate this post! It’s taken me a long time as an adult to realize how even though the infatuation isn’t “unhealthy”, it was unhealthy for *me*. I found that humanizing anybody I have an attachment to realllly helps crack the illusion I build of this person.*
*(for me, my attachment to people I’m “infatuated” with tends to put these people on a pedestal. Humanizing them, recognizing their flaws and mistakes, – even finding things about them that make me cringe- are crucial steps that help bring me back to reality.
And like another commenter said, distractions! Social and not. It may be scary, but talking to someone who you know will be honest with you about how your feelings may also shed some reality into the situation, too. Best of luck!