I have a first date coming up with someone I matched with on an app. I have a lifelong stutter, which can tend to be slightly more on the severe side with new people and in uncomfortable situations, but once I get to know someone it becomes far less noticeable. Would it be better for me to let my date know about my speech impediment before the date over the app/text, or should I casually bring it up once we met? I don’t want to draw more attention to it than necessary by messaging her about it, but also don’t want her to be uncomfortable or thrown off in the event I start stuttering during the date. Any thoughts are greatly appreciated.
If it’s relevant, I am a male in my mid-20s dating women in a similar age range.
10 comments
Personally (as a guy that stutters himself), I always tend to tell them when the moment feels right about asking them on a date. Just a nice friendly “oh by the way” message just making them aware. In my experience, they’re fine with it and say it’s not an issue. If it is, they’re obviously not worth your time as it really isn’t a big deal ultimately is it and you strangely feel like it’s a weight off your shoulders IMO.
Good luck! 🙂
As a woman with a mild stutter, I show up and own it instead of mentioning it. In some ways the test is if they are weird or mean about it. The right people will be patient active listeners.
I have a stutter myself and idc tbh because I’m me and I’m proud of my stutter!💪❤️
I think I personally I would want to know beforehand, but only if you are comfortable with it. In my experience people with a stutter can get upset when people bring it up. So if I were to go on a first date with someone and find out that they stutter, I wouldn’t mention it at all.
Now if they sent me a message about it, I would get 2 bits of information. 1. They’re open to talking about it, which gives me mature vibes, self aware. 2. That it’s gonna get better. So even if it’s so bad it’s hard to get through a conversation, I’d know it would get better.
But if you do send a message about it, make sure you’re not apologising for it. Just mention it like a heads up.
I wouldn’t care I would be more interested in compatibility
Worried about a stutter? Get a life!!!!
I would, but only selfishly out of fear that I might accidently show rude micro expression of surprise when I notice.
I would still absolutely want to go on the date with you and get to know you like anyone else, so you could let me know on the way to the date or even when you’re telling me you’re 1min away if you are conscious of making it a bigger deal than it needs to be
I don’t think it should be an issue at all. For the right person, it won’t matter at all, and for the wrong person that’s the only thing they will notice.
I hope you have a nice date and meet someone amazing.
Side note: my bf has a slight lisp and I’ve never felt weird or uncomfortable about it because he is such a genuine man and the lisp has nothing to do with anything!!!!
Good luck!!
I went on a date with a guy recently that had a stutter and only slightly noticed it. He didn’t tell me about it beforehand and I was fine with that. He ended up being able to talk to me really easily too after he brought it up and we talked about it a little bit. I think if anyone were to judge you for not telling them ahead of a date, it would be kind of low of them.
Sounds like you’re anticipating the rejection and would rather have it now instead of being unpleasantly surprised later.