Forced relationship with parents; is there even use in trying to bond with them?

I (27f) have a guilty conscience because my relationship with my parents has fallen apart. I know that family constellations are not always rosy and that there are people who have no contact with their parents and stand as one in this world, that people have the right to choose their family in the form of friends and other strangers in their lives, etc., but I am tormented at night by the fact that I have not been able to form a warm and loving bond with them. I always seem to be rejected by my family or get into constant arguments with them. To the outside world, we look like a very harmonious, warm family, and my boyfriend will never understand why I argue with them, such is the good image we present to the public. But in our inner circle I always feel that I am loved only for the achievements I make. For the material gain. At the end of the day, they are more interested in my siblings because they fit into their mental construct better than I do, and then they get very jealous when I build this family-like relationship with other people, like my landlords. We have a whole family chat where my parents post pictures of all the things that we are doing together, travels, parties we celebrate, and there is no picture of me. They share my siblings and parents-in-law, but I don’t even exist and in their realm. I don’t know how to manage my worries with them. Sometimes I think there’s no point in having a whole wedding once I get married because those aren’t the people who would really celebrate me/with me. They never call me and ask me how I’m doing, that always comes from my side, and when we sit at the family table, my father always tests me on how I’m doing at my job, what my accomplishments are, and they both expect some kind of gifts as a form of love language. They shout at me for not bringing much input to my family (them), and when I try to be better and do bring gifts it feels forced because of this. My mother and I have a kind of catty relationship where I feel like we always have to prove to each other that our way of life, our values, is “the right” one, the “better” one. She is always looking to argue with me, saying things like she doesn’t trust me, that she feels betrayed by me telling her any information, or that I’m putting her down to lift myself up, I really don’t know how to fight this worm in her head. What can I do to settle peace in my head as well as how to approach this whole relationship with them.