Mid 20’s. We’ve been FWB before and ended it last year.
Let me make it as short as possible.
I have trust issues and want something stable, getting to know someone and dating him but knowing that we are a thing is okay.
He texted me on Sunday telling me he would like to take me out on dinner and see where things go with serious intentions, I was down for it because why not. He told me he always had the feeling I had more potential (didn’t phrase it like that) on the long term but wanted to be sure of it and I had been having the same but never intended of showing these interests unless he did, like now. He told me he’s on vacation right now and was unsure when he’ll be back and I was like okay no biggie.
Knowing this guy, he’s had some one night stand on his vacations and yes i know, it’s his life and dick. It’s just the imagination that he had an ONS on the vacation, didn’t like it and then texted me saying all these nice words without any real intentions.
He didn’t text me for 3 days, very weird. I sent him a snap the day after and he opened the day again after late and didn’t sent anything back or not even hey how are you. I was like okay that’s weird, are you just trying to keep me on a thread? Mind you, his snapscore goes higher in the meantime.
Wednesday evening I text him hey how are u and after some talking he tells me his grandma got sick and he’s with his family now in his hometown. We talk about it and I just feel so bad about everything.
> He tells me he got the news she’s sick on Wednesday but he didn’t text me for days before that
My friend made me ask about the one night stand which he maybe had on his vacation and I deeply regret it, it was a inappropriate time to ask. So i asked him and he said no but showed that it was an inappropriate time to ask.
I told him sorry again and goodnight. Its the next morning now and his snapscore has been going up so much, i simply don’t understand? Your grandma is sick, what the hell are you sending or getting then?
I made a text with sorry again and that i would like to support him through this but would like him to communicate too then, should i send it? What should i do?
TLDR: told me nice words and that he wants to take me out of dinner, suddenly doesnt texts me for 3 days, when i text he tells me he just got the news his grandma is sick and i made the mistake by asking if he had a ONS on if vacay while he wasn’t in the right mindset.
2 comments
I’m gonna be honest with you, he sounds uninterested. Sometimes guys say things they don’t mean, which seems to be the case. He may have been bored and looking to play games. I would honestly stop speaking to him, period. Also your friend really put you in an awkward spot… but stop overthinking it, what’s done is done. Also tracking snap scores is going to make you paranoid no matter what, I would stop doing that if you want to improve on your trust issues. At the end of the day, this guy didn’t really have any commitments to you, and if he wanted to you may have unfortunately scared him off a bit by prying. Don’t beat yourself up about it, but maybe trying diving in to why you have trust issues in the first place, an obstain from behaviors that ‘justify’ them. At the end of the day, the trust issues are only going to hold things back. I have been cheated on in the past, so I get it. What helped me is realizing other peoples behavior is not a reflection of who I am as a person. We will never have control over others in that way and it’s a way to self sabotage to “protect” yourself. It’s inevitable that a single man will act single.
Sees you as an option. Treats you as an option. Give him lots of space and keep it a distant friendship if he comes back in all interested… you won’t even win anything here