I have been with my gf for 2 years, the relationship is so satisfying and we’re both deeply in love. Except that I had a breast fetish coming from my childhood. She has small breasts and it was frustrating to me. I kept it to myself and I was okay with staying with her forever with that frustration because the relationship is more than a detail.
One day she figured that out by herself. She asked me and I couldnt lie to her, and I said yes I have that fetish.
Since then she became insecure about her breasts and she got so self conscious about her body. I put myself in therapy to treat my fetish, and I succeeded in that, boobs are no more an obsession, it’s just a preference like for all men.
By the time she gained weight and hers got bigger, so she gained some self esteem and we thought that the issue is gone.
I moved abroad a month ago, so we’re in a long distance relationship and everything seems to be fine, UNTIL she lost weight again and they got to their previous size. I’m really fine with them wether big or small, all what matters to me that it’s hers. But she’s insecure again and she said she couldnt get over the trauma of figuring out how obsessed I was with big boobs.
I couldnt insist more on that the issue is gone for me, it’s something from the past, but she couldnt, and she’s thinking about breaking up because it’s fucking her up.
What can we do ? Anyone got in these shoes before ?
2 comments
I got myself in the same position, when my girlfriend asked me about her boobs. I went with being honest, and told her that her breasts were small but I didn’t care. Stupid move on my part. I should have just acknowledged what I love about her boobs, and not mentioned whether I thought they were big or small. Now I just tell her I love them, they are perfect, they are perky and beautiful. Just things that make her feel good, but also I really do love her breasts. Long story short, compliment her and appreciate her body for what it is.
I think it’s gonna take a lot to get past this, women are slammed our entire life with impossible expectations for our bodies. Many of us are insecure from the moment we hit puberty.
On top of that smaller breasted women are often always teased about smaller breast or hear men constantly saying they love large breast, it fucks you up ya know. I think the best you can do for now is telling her and showing her how much you love her and her body.
Maybe suggest she speak to a therapist about her insecurities about her body. At the end of the day if she doesn’t find a way to be okay with her body, any relationship is going to be hard.