I’ve been dating this girl since early July so 3 months. The back story with my ex is a bit more complicated, we were on and off for nearly a year and towards the end of the relationship she basically moved in with me. Me and my ex didn’t end bad at all, we just stopped clicking with each other and with arguments in the past we both decided to just stop.
That was in February now since then we have had sex a couple times both drunk and sober. I felt that was only going to lead us going back to where we were and I still wanted to be friends but the sex couldn’t happen anymore. Much to my surprise, she agreed she was a little bit upset but completely agreed. We still spoke in passing and would be completely okay with each other.
Now where I think things changed, I will be completely honest me and my current girlfriend did rush into this but we’re both happy. However, two nights ago we bumped into my ex we spoke like it was nothing, I explained to my girlfriend that there was no bad blood between me and my ex she was fine with that.
So last night I stayed at my girlfriends house and everything was okay, I get up for work she stays in bed I grab my phone and that’s when I see the text message “I really miss you x” I must’ve stared at that message for ten minutes. I didn’t know what to do, I still don’t. I do really like my current girlfriend I am happy, I wouldn’t say I miss my ex either it’s just thrown me off and I can’t explain why.
TL;DR my ex girlfriend texted me saying she missed me, I’m currently happy in a relationship but this text has thrown me off a lot.
9 comments
Tell your current GF and don’t entertain ex GF. It’s not worth it and if she wanted you she could’ve had you when you were single.
Ignore and move on.
You both already decided it was over. And it’s only natural to have feelings for each other. But it’s over. Keep it that way.
That was incredibly disrespectful of your ex. Even worse, I work on the assumption that your current girlfriend saw the message before you woke up. I’d be tempted to reply with something to the effect of:
“You know I’m in a relationship now so this is incredibly disrespectful. Don’t do this again.”
If she pushes, block the ex. Focus on your current relationship.
If you want your current relationship to work AT ALL. You need to block your ex and put her out of your mind. We’re only human, and these feelings around exes happen, but being in even minimal contact with her is only going to make those thoughts and feelings more intrusive, and WILL ultimately destroy your current relationship.
You said it yourself, all it took was a simple text to throw you off, so stop those texts and block her before you sabotage your own relationship.
If you don’t want to block your ex, then do your current gf a favor and break up with her so she can find a man who will love her and ONLY her. She deserves to be with someone who isn’t confused about who they want.
You should have given yourself the time to get over your ex completely, but you didn’t, so now you’ve put yourself in a position where you’re confused. You have a choice to make..
This is most likely a manipulation tactic by your ex. She saw you with someone else and realized she wasn’t happy (either with herself, or with seeing you happy with someone else, or even both), and sent you that message so she’d be on your mind. Don’t respond, tell your current GF, and maybe even block the ex if she keeps reaching out. Any other course of action puts your current relationship in jeopardy, and you already know how the relationship with your ex will go.
Misery loves company
Block her
Pretend you never got the text. Act accordingly.
If you didn’t stay together with your ex and decided to be friends only, there were reasons. Those reasons will not change. If you had arguments over something, and you get back together, you’ll argue again over the same type of things. If you didn’t click, you won’t click again after the initial rebound phase, etc. Picture all the reasons why you broke up and keep them there, they are valid, and people can’t change in like a couple of years.
Usually when an ex comes back is because they got some back luck with someone they are dating and are out of options so they start remembering the good old times before. But in this case, two nights ago she realized you have a new girlfriend, so she might be doing this because she can’t accept you have someone else, so she is consciously trying to get in your way. This is bad, this girl doesn’t have any moral for doing so, I would never contact an ex like that if I find out they have someone else… That’s disrespectful, possessive.
I would say, either ghost her message (bad), or tell her you are indeed in a relationship now and even if you had good times, it’s time to move on for both. And warn your GF about that if she tries more after your response. Be ready to show her messages for proof, in case she asks, so don’t say anything risky.
Delete and block, why do you have contact with her ? she’s an ex leave it in the past. If it’s messing with you’re head you probably still have feelings for her and shouldnt be in a relationship and string your current along or atleast tell your girlfriend and figure out how to deal with it together.