My gf and I are in long distance relationship. Recently I have noticed that she is “online” a lot on WhatsApp but don’t reply me for hours. She is travelling so I thought she may just be busy doing travelling stuff.
Eventually rather than assuming I asked her directly that hey you are online on WhatsApp but don’t reply my messages is all good. To my surprise she said she hardly goes to WhatsApp. It was not even once but she said multiple times that she is never on WhatsApp . It was so surprising because if she say yeah I was talking to friends I would be totally okay. But she is lying about it and that makes it very suspicious. I even told her that I don’t mind if she was talking to friends but she insisted that she was never on WhatsApp.
Tl;dr gf is potentially lying about her being available to chat
17 comments
Who cares? A bit obsessive, LDRs are hard enough as it is mate, why no trust?
So because it says shes online she must be online?
Facebook chat says im online all the time and im asleep.
This is some scary controlling behaviour.
Look, I have WebApp open on my comp like, all the time.
If I use my comp, it tells people I’m online. I’m not. I’m doing homework or following classes.
Might be the case for her. WebApp open, but offline
WhatsApp, Facebook, and Instagram are all owned by Meta, which is in the process of integrating all its different chats. Could be that she’s logged in somewhere on a different Meta app and her status is broadcast out to all of them.
This is a silly thing to have issues on
Messaging apps often permanently show online status whenever they are running in the background. Just you seeing her being online doesn’t really mean she’s actively looking at the app talking to somebody.
Some people like to have their apps open on mobile all the time but have different notification settings not to be bothered by new messages constantly and just check them once in a while. I am like that and so my status on all these apps is set to always offline so that there are no misunderstandings of this kind. This, however, requires some tech knowledge and actually being aware of this happening, which many people are not – clearly including you OP.
She’s not lying!!! my boyfriend and I are facing the same issue for weeks now. He keeps texting me asking me why I’m online and not replying. I barely used my phone in those hours and I was appearing online to him. And so was he to me. We noticed it’s happening just with two of us – I’m his top chat window and he is mine. It’s a whatsApp glitch in our experience.
One time someone grilled me about who I’m talking to on messenger and why I’m “always” active on there. I talk to like 2 people a couple times a day. I don’t work at fb, so I can’t tell you why it “always” shows me active, but I can tell you that monitoring stuff like this and then not believing the answer you’re given about it is the worst look. Either you have trust in your relationship, or you don’t.
What happens when you message her? Does she continue to stay online or does she go offline?
Further to that, is her status always online or are there periods where she is off? Regardless of you messaging her or not.
Well this doesn’t tell me if she’s lying or not.
She could be having WhatsApp open on her laptop/computer and that might show her as online?
I also doubt the accuracy of these apps, sometimes they have bugs.
By the way, you probably came across as needy. Why do you care when she replies you? If a guy says that to me, that would be a huge turn off. I don’t want to scare you though. But I personally have a low tolerance for obsessive, needy, controlling men. So just chill and do your own thing, everything is fine!
Get some therapy, they will help you if you suffer from any insecurities, anxiety etc. It’s ok to have those feelings, but you need to learn how to control it, so that you can have happy healthy relationships.
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“i even told her i don’t mind if she was talking to friends” wtf dude. before this technology you wouldn’t be able to keep tabs on her this closely. this doesn’t seem like some grand deception but if you are worried to the point of needing advice on this, maybe a long distance relationship isn’t for you.
I feel like it’s a technical issue and she’s not lying.
This also happens on Instagram, it shows people as “online” when they’re not necessarily using the app. I mean sure she could be lying also…but regardless I think you need to talk to your gf about how you’re feeling insecure with your current levels of communication and maybe set some expectations about what reasonable amounts of communication are. This is especially important in a LDR.
In ldr too and boyfriend used to accuse me of talking to other ppl on discord because I always appear online and I never was online. I think most apps have bugs
Never assume. You don’t know.
Whatsapp is a shitty app, I wouldn’t trust it over my partner.
If whatsapp is open in your background, it shows online. Only if you end that task, it ll be offline.
She must me online as in the app is open in the bg without knowing.