I’ve been on 3 dates with this man and he has a lot of amazing qualities. I’m finding that although I really enjoy his company and he seems like a good person- I’m unsure of my physical and sexual attraction to him. I’m wondering how many more dates I could give it before making that decision about the chemistry. I want to give it a chance to grow, but also I don’t want to lead someone on and waste their time, let alone hurt their feelings.
I should note that I unfortunately am attracted to emotionally unavailable men and have crazy chemistry with those types. I’m trying to change this pattern and I’m dating outside my usual type. But it’s hard work, as I feel turned off by men when they are overly keen.
Sometimes after a first date, I’ll know if it’s a hard no because I’m just attracted or we had nothing in common.
Other times, I have a great time but I’m unsure of my attraction. So i decide to accept a second or third date to decide. But if I’m not feeling it by the fourth date is it time to end it? Can i give it more time?
6 comments
I think 3-4 dates is enough. Like are you feeling a friend vibe with him?
You should know it by the first date. If you’re unsure then that’s a no.
Several dates? Are you kidding me? I know if I like someone within 10 seconds.
What’s emotionally unavailable?
It’s a delicate balance. I had the same problem but I kind of knew after the first date. He was funny and so nice but the physical attraction wasn’t totally there. I mean I knew all that anyway but I went on the date to give it a chance. I think the amount of dates required for that is different for anyone but I’d probably not drag it on for more than 3 dates.
If you’re not feeling any sexual/physical vibes it will never work. So I’d say you been on enough dates already to know you’re not interested. Being sexually attractive to your partner is huge. Everyone has different taste and what they find sexy but something needs to click and if it ain’t you’re just friends really.