So, I am in my last year of school right now. I really wanna make some memories but I’m just losing my friends. I often don’t realise how bad it has gotten until it just really hits me, yk? I had a big group of friends and was very social up to like a few years back. But then covid came and some stuff w my health happened. I originally had a group of three since like 2nd grade but we grew distant as 2 of them changed schools. Yet whenever we meet, I’m the happiest with them and just genuinely myself. The one that’s still in my school, she’s in another class and just a bit mean to me honestly like always bringing up my insecurities and ignoring me and I don’t feel comfortable with her like I used to before. I mean she’s nice and my oldest and closest friend but she’s always been almost ashamed of me or singling me out all the time to hang out with our other friends even when we both know they don’t want to include us. And then she comes to me to bitch about them. The other friends in this scenario are the ones in my class, they’re a very close group of four now and the ‘it’ group. I don’t have much common with them honestly. And they are those people who form a circle every time they talk and are just so loud and you can never fit yourself in, ever, no matter how hard you try. I used to be close to them but then I grew apart. I am so mad at myself for that. Other than that, I’m honestly quite well known in school but just for being the smart one. Literally i feel like no one cares about me other than that. This is dumb, but the only time I feel like I have friends is exam season, lol. I just don’t know what went wrong. Every year now, I’m just losing more friends. Had my birthday a few days ago, only a few people wished me. Everyone says I have changed too. And like they’re right. Mostly this is all just my fault, I’m very self aware lol. All I do now is just wear a mask in class all day, reading my book, sitting in one corner with the “outcast”. I know how bitchy that sounds, I hate saying that but it’s true. And I mean, I’m an outcast too now. I’ve just realised no one ever texts me anymore. They have groupchats without me, they meet up without me. Ugh, I don’t know. And my school is not that big, there really isn’t very many people I can be friends with and I truly cannot piss off the ones I’m atleast friendly with rn. I just need to know, how do I get my old self back? I see them laughing in class and I’m just there in one corner reading my book. I wanna laugh and make memories too. But how? I feel like I’ve lost everyone. Sorry for making this so long. But please help!!