I need advice: I’ve been in a relationship with my bf for 6 months now ! I’m a legal immigrant but my stay in the USA will soon be over ! I MAY be able to get work authorization for another 3 years but my bf told me he’s not ready to get married for another 5 years until he’s “ established “ ! He currently makes 6 figures but he wants to get Really really rich !
The only problem with this is I think maybe he doesn’t think I’m the one because why do you need 5 years? Especially if you know that my status in the country is unstable. I’m thinking about breaking up with him after a year. Not because I don’t love him . I do. We are VERY compatible abs almost never fight ! I just want to not waste my time. It is a really big fear that I have. Just bring with someone who will end up wasting years. And ended up breaking up with me! And I also feel like if he really did love me and he knows that marrying me will solve si many of my issues then he would do it! I don’t mean to sound like marriage isn’t an important decision but who seriously needs 5 years to figure that out?
8 comments
It seems as if you’re only viewing this situation from your POV and almost wanting to force him to marry you for you, not because he loves you and wants to. Personally, I wouldn’t marry someone who was making me feel forced into it. I’d probably leave that person.
Plenty of people. I have an infant that’s older than your relationship. 6 months is no time at all to really get to know someone. It’s your job to solve your own issues, not rush him into a marriage he’s not ready for.
6 months is not nearly long enough to know someone. The first year people are usually still getting to know each other. In that first year people are usually on their best behavior to impress someone. It’s called the honeymoon phase. Its the phase in a relationship when everything seems perfect.
It’s unwise of you to try to marry someone in 6 months. For all you know, they could be abusive, a cheater, a compulsive liar, have addiction problems, be bad with money etc. for all they know, you could be the same way. You may not have the same morals, life goals, you may not be compatible.
You aren’t going to find anyone who will want to marry you in 6 months. You might want to change your expectations a little. Give people at least a few years. A lot can happen in a few years. That’s when things start to get serious and people go through some stuff. That’s when people truly find out if they love each other and will be there for each other.
Don’t get rush into marriage, that’s a very bad idea
In western countries 5 years really isn’t extremely long i would say it falls in the range of normal if you’re under 30
Couple of issues here.
First, your time frame is unrealistic. 6 months and your talking marriage? 5 years is not unusual to wait for a ceremony.
Second, you have a historical post, that either you or reddit deleted looking for sugar baby websites.
This was 15 days ago?
You’ve set a deadline. So stick to it. Either wait till he is ready for a marriage, which btw may take much longer than 5 years or leave and hope to find a suitable partner willing to get married sooner.
You’ve only known him six months and want to get married so you can stay in this country. No wonder he is saying no. Even if he loved you madly and knew you were the one, you are raising all kinds of red flags. You might be able to find someone you can pay to marry you to keep you in this country. Even though it is fraud, it is done. Don’t pretend you love this man yet can’t see why he doesn’t just grant you this one little thing. Break up and let him find someone who doesn’t need a green card wedding.
You might as well end things now if you are expecting an immediate proposal while he doesn’t want to consider it for five years. Doesn’t seem like it’s going to work out.