What the title says, really. I’ve noticed I’m terrible at identifying cues for when it’s best to leave. I’m talking about gatherings specifically, here.
For example, yesterday I’d planned it but no moment felt right. Then when I realised I was the last person there, I attempted to grab my coat but was told to sit back down and was offered more drink. Then, because of the conversation going on, I didn’t feel like it was ok to just go (plus I still had my drink). So I waited until the subject changed and grabbed my coat. Then, in a moment of pause, I said “I think it’s time for me to go”. It was clear that it was and now I feel bad about it because the hosts had had a long and emotional day.
But this wouldn’t be the first time. Has anyone else struggled to navigate situations like this, but got better at it?
2 comments
You must be from the Midwest😂
It can be tricky because people will often say ‘Oh, stay a bit longer!’ out of politeness.
If someone says ‘Oh, you should stay a bit longer’ that doesn’t show much imagination or effort so I would say you should assume they don’t really mean it.
Someone offered you a drink, so it does sound like they were genuinly doing something to make you stay. But, I suppose it depends how it was done. If they pretty much HAND you a drink then they want you to stay. If they say ‘So… so you want like… a drink? Or something?’ then they don’t really mean it.
In general though, it’s best to dip out earlier than later. Have a good excuse prepared, so you don’t insult the host. Stay a bit longer if necessary and when you leave, make it seem like you stayed longer than intended because it was so much fun. “Oh dear. I am SO late for that important phone call I mentioned!’