I’m 21 and I’m a social person so the issue isn’t really not being able to talk to women. I just never went out there so what’s some advice to make it easier?

19 comments

  1. Have confidence, and practice self care. If you are interested in someone, just ask them out. Ask them if they would like to get a cup of coffee, go to the movies, etc.

    Edit: Dating game is hard. Don’t be desperate or impatient. You will find someone.

  2. Uhh you make it sound as though you’re >20yo. As such, please don’t date high schoolers.

  3. It gets easier as you get older.
    High school was hard for me because it was a small school and everyone knew everyone.

  4. I’m 24 and have never had a serious girlfriend, and if I could go back, I’d do exactly the same thing all over again. My plan is to just stop aging and enjoy life like it’s a party.

  5. Similar to anything the beginning is just gunna have failures. Learn from them and just keep moving forward.

    Go on a few “throwaway dates” like with someone you’re not super interested in but also they seem nice or something. Not like oh this is the one! But is still someone chill. Just for practice.

    It may sound cold but guys usually are the ones to pursue the lady. But it’s hard to pursue the lady you want when you have no experience. It’s like fishing. You can’t catch that elusive big fish if you’ve never caught smaller fish. Practice.

  6. Just start with little things like saying hi to a woman as you walk past her in public. Ask for a phone number of a women you aren’t even interested in. You don’t have to text her and proof of concept will help you get confidence when you find a woman you are actually interested in. Just keep pushing your comfort zone and it will get easier with time.

  9. Never experienced that too, but as a woman, for every occasion you need to be confident and know your self value…

    Woman doesn’t care about your style, your hair or what do you eat after sleep. This is the part of the *first impression” and after that, only your personality will matters.

    I will give you 2 examples so you can interpret the way you want. You can always ask me questions or more explanations if there’s any confusion.

    I will give you 2 examples:
    -You have a woman, that is always crying or always curved forward. Doesn’t know what she likes, doesn’t know what she wanna be in the future. Isn’t serious in front of serious problems.

    And

    -You have a woman that has always a smile on the face, who has a good posture and is always making plans for the future. Who gives you advices and says things like “I know life isn’t easy, but you can do it! I trust you.”. A woman who always try to solve their problems alone, who always tries to be independent in some way…

    Now, chose one women between those two: *Who is more attractive to you? And why?*

    And that’s how you should be.
    You will only find people different that you’re searching if you’re not the one that you’re attracted.

    My advice (that I use for myself) is that YOU NEED TO BE like the one you’re attracted.
    For example, I love men who are super confident about EVERYTHING, so I BECAME confident about everything too.

    The opposite NEVER attracts, more the person is like you, more the relationship will be good.

    *Unfortunately, it’s only easy when is based on personality, doesn’t work for everything.*

    Better example? You love woman that are kind -> BE KIND so you can ATTRACT people that are kind.

    You love woman that are super smart -> BE SMART, act like someone who always want to learn more and you will attract people that are smart.

  10. The easiest way to meet people is a shared hobby. Mine was rock climbing. You meet a lot of people and it’s really easy to build trust (you literally keep them from falling)

  11. Have something that womxn want. I specifically mean money; but if you dont agree with the specifics thats fine, focus on the general. If you have something desirable it will be easier to be desired

  12. You’re gonna get hurt and it’s gonna really suck sometimes.

    Best advice is put yourself out there though, it might surprise you the number of girls that might be interested, on the same note, dating is a two way road. It’s not just about you proving yourself to them, they have to also prove they’re worth your time. If you’re doing nothing but chasing then you’re choosing the wrong women, they should be interested in you back.

  13. Firstly, understand that dating norms are highly influenced by biology, arguably more so than societal pressures. Having knowledge of mating strategies of men and women sounds silly, yes, but there’s so much insight to be gained by admitting deep down we are still animals. It’s not everything there is, but it’s a great foundation to start with.

    Second, learn how to flirt. It’s one thing to have a conversation with another person. It’s another to suggest more than friendship while maintaining plausible deniability.

    Third, don’t be ashamed to go for what you want. Have desires, have boundaries, be okay with saying “no”. The people you date have those rights too.

  14. I don’t know if I would say anything any different for you versus anyone else. High school dating is overrated anyways. You need to make your intentions clear if you have someone in mind but if not don’t force anything.

    Just ask her out, communicate well, be honest yourself and about what you want… typical shit.

  15. 1) Know what you want and be clear about your intentions and don’t blur the line between friend and romantic interest.

    2) Better to be rejected than to regret not taking your shot.

    3) Actions speak louder than words. If an attractive single woman is making herself available to you to spend time alone with, she likes you. If she’s “busy” or difficult to meet up with in person for any reason, she’s just not that into you. Ignore whatever she’s saying with words, women will make themselves available to men they like if it kills them.

    4) There’s little to no correlation between how attractive a woman is and how difficult she is to date. Don’t hesitate to go for the bombshells and if strike out with a mid, don’t think you can’t do better.

    5) Meeting women through mutual friends/acquaintances is 1000x more effective than trying to meet women in the wild or online. Having one or two close platonic female friends can work wonders for your dating life.

  17. I never dated in high school. My first kiss and girlfriend was when I was 19.

    Imo. You just have to go out there and try. Learn to talk to as many diff ppl as you can. Talk to as many girls as you can to ease anxiety.

    Learn to banter and joke around like you do with friends.

    As a guy you will have to take the lead 90% of the time. If conversation goes well for a date sit a bit closer and see if she’s comfortable. If she’s okay with that find a moment where you are alone with her in a romantic setting and when the vibe is good and you are both laughing. Lean in see if she also leans in for a kiss.

    It’s up to you to keep progressing. The best advise is to make effort and try. You will get rejected many times and that’s okay. You only need 1 that works with you to make it all worth while.

  18. You won’t find a long term relationship if you are looking for one, at least that’s what I believe. You should look for who makes you happy, and that will change over time. Find someone you want to sit in a room with while you each do your own thing but you can start a conversation about anything at anytime.

    Most importantly, do not believe in the sunken cost fallacy. It doesn’t matter if you have been together for 6 months or 6 years, if you are not happy you can end the relationship. People get upset but what is most important is you.

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