I moved into a co-ed house recently and one of the dudes has been texting me frequently. It’s about random stuff – likes/dislikes, what I do at work, family etc. So not really necessary conversations. He also tries to talk to me when we’re in the common areas, although I’ve been at work or just been sticking to my room for the most part, which is maybe why he’s texting. I think he could just be a friendly, extroverted guy who sees men and women the same way (potential friends). I’m not like that and I’ve misinterpreted stuff before, so I never like to assume.
I have a lot of dating-related anxiety/insecurities and I’m anxious about men in general. I know it’s a co-ed house and maybe it’s expected that I be friendly with the guys as they are my housemates, but part of me just wants to be invisible and be left alone since home is supposed to be my comfort zone. None of the other housemates are this friendly with me.
I’m not sure what I’m afraid of. Tbh if it was any of the other guys, I’d be fine with it, but the fact that I’m attracted to him makes me nervous to text him back.
Should I just act uninterested so he backs off? I’ve been polite and friendly over text because again, I live with the dude. Honestly, I don’t even need advice, just someone to tell me it’s normal, it’s all going to be okay and i’m not going to get hurt 😢
7 comments
Stop responding so quickly to his text. He’s creeping you out
last thing you want to do get involved with a roommate as things can go south if it doesnt work out. just friendly and keep it at bay. if you think he might be flirting, then just be upfront with him.
What does your gut tell you
There are too many unknowns here. But one thing is for certain: don’t date roommates. And you should shut down any attempt to do so.
I’ve had experience on both sides of this and I will say don’t just leave him hanging. I’ve had that happen to me so many times and it sucks to be ghosted. My best advise is to simply ask him what his intentions are and tell him why you are anxious. This way you aren’t assuming anything and he now knows that you feel uncomfortable. I definitely would rather be told I’m making someone uncomfortable or they don’t like me than being expected to know what they’re thinking.
Something something about don’t poop where you eat
You can’t pretend what you’re feeling isn’t real forever, someday you’ll have to have an adult healthy conversation about boundaries as roommates.
You don’t have to make it seem like you assume he likes you, just sort of make it clear that you don’t date roommates in general.
I’ve learned this the hard way recently.