Advice – M/22 F/22 lack of sex in relationship advice needed

Hi,

I made a throwaway for this, to keep it private. Never really spoken to anybody about this other than her so kinda nervous, hoping for some advice as I feel like I dont know what to do anymore!

I am a 22M and my girlfriend of nearly 3 years is a 22F. When I first met her, I could tell she was a virgin and she was not sexual at all/intimate in any way/flirty at all. However, I fell In love with her personality. I am the only guy she has been with and I hoped that maybe over time and after things begun sexually in the relationship, we would maybe explore eachother sexually more.

However, after being with her over a year and her having lost her virginity to me, I began to realise she just did not seem like a very sexual person AT ALL. She never really wants sex, she is never really intimate/flirty etc. I’ve tried communicating with her about it many times and taken lots of different approaches with it, to find out what she likes/what I can do better etc but nothing works. I am not able to make her wet and I never have been able to, like not even one bit, we always have to use lube. She said she has no interest in masterbation. She has told me she doesn’t really get horny, ever, maybe once or twice ever and she told me she doesn’t understand herself much sexually or know what she is into.

I’ve proposed to her about her maybe being Bisexual(or lesbian) but just maybe suppresing that out, but she strongly disagreed. I proposed Asexuality, she disagreed. I’ve tried communicating about what we are both into, what we can both do to improve things, nothing works.

It’s now coming up to 3 years in out relationship. We have good chemistry in every way other than sexually and no flirting etc. We have sex maybe a couple times a month, she is always “too tired” or she cba. I’m starting to get fed up, she just feels like a really good friend to me nowadays as opposed to my gf. I like initmacy/flirting/lots of sex and sexual exploring and after years of NONE of this I am starting to just get fed up, especially when I’ve tried being supportive to her and communicating to her about it. I do not really associate sexual desire with my GF nowadays because we have had such lack of sexual connection for so long. I don’t know how much longer I can do this and I certainly cannot spend the forseeable future like this. But then we get on so well in all other ways, it’s really frustrating. It’s ended up with me having a masterbation and porn addiction because I NEED something sexual, she doesn’t provide anything and I am obviously not gonna cheat.

What on earth do I do here? Does it sound like we just are not a match for eachother? Does it sound to you like she might be Asexual and not realise it? Does it sound like I am doing something wrong? Any and as much constructive advice I would appreciate alot here because over the years I’ve talked with her about this so many times and no change so maybe I should change my approach?Idk, sorry for rambling on. Thanks.