At what date number do you expect the girl you are dating to stop sleeping with her friends with benefits? Until you both are exclusive?

31 comments

1. Zero.

2. I wouldn’t date a girl who made it clear she was sleeping with a friends with benefits. I’d also look upon her pretty badly if I found that out later and she had hidden it/been deceptive.

3. This is easy (which, apparently so is she).

   If she’s sleeping with some other dude, doesn’t matter if it’s no-strings… I’m not going out with her.

4. i wouldn’t date someone who has friends with benefits

   so my advice, dont date people who have fwb

5. I would never ask out a woman who already has something on the side.

6. If a girl has an active fwb situation going on I’m not interested tbh

7. -90. If you can’t handle going even 3 months without sleeping around, you’re not the girl for me.

8. Well there may be different flavors but I believe people who are looking for long term, not open relationship better be resting for a while before that. And definitely nothing should happen as soon as “dates” start.

9. I wouldn’t expect exclusivity until we’ve both discussed and agreed to it, but personally… if we hit a third date and things are still going strong, I’d start the slow fade on anyone else I had in the mix.

10. 22 year old male here, I dont like the thought of going out with a girl who literally is seeing people on the side. Im not a big fan of sleeping with girls I am not in love with, didn’t really like the times i tried. So when I date my intentions are to find a girlfriend, that’s probably why i dont like it when she’s sleeping with others.

11. I’m not dating anyone who makes her fwb known.

    Get the fuck out dude. She’s not worth it

12. I wouldn’t date anyone that had a fwb.

13. At least a bit before even the first date, if they where still sleeping with the fwb then I can guarantee not a single date would be had.

14. 1 or 0 depending on how you count

15. if she’s still sleeping around, I don’t think it’s worth trying to be exclusive

16. Male or female, if i am in a sexual relationship with someone, im not fond of the idea of them sleeping around, even if i know the people shes with, simply because of STIs.

    Now, and i might get a bit of…hate i guess for this, if a group of 3-4 individuals are with each other, exclusively, i wouldnt see an issue with this.

    Its when you toss in this unknown factor of who the FWB is also sleeping with, that things get…sketchy.

17. When you talk to her and become exclusive.

18. Ok so if I i knew that a girl that i was interested in had a FWB than i wouldn’t even waste my time. But lets just say that I did and well I’d make my intentions clear with her from the get go and if she agrees to be my girl than thats when it stops.

19. >Until you both are exclusive?

    If you only wait until you’re formally exclusive, that’s fairly shitty.

    If you want to pursue something more, that’s when you should stop fucking other people, barring active discussion and coming to an agreement. Whether that’s before you go on a first date or after the 2nd.

20. If she doesn’t *only* want to sleep with me, from very early on (way before we talk about exclusivity) then she is not into me enough for me to pursue anything.

    I call it the “Spirit of Fidelity” Test (don’t even try to get mad at me, women test us all the time, and rightly so). But let’s be honest. It’s really a Sl*t Test. I don’t like it any more than you, it’s just the way it is.

    Technically, if we are not exclusive, she can suck cock day and night if she wants. But is that someone any man would want to pursue a relationship with? Fuck-buddies? Great! But this is not the future mother of my children we are talking about.

    She’s playing within the rules of the game, but not the spirit. And that’s not somebody I want to play with. I am not sl*t-shaming her. It’s her body, she can do what she likes with it. But I am entitled to my preferences, as are we all, and I am not about that life.

    You know how you have friend-zones? I’m afraid we have sl*t-zones. And it’s extremely difficult to get out.

    If you disagree with me, ask yourself this:

    “WE WERE ON A BREAK!”

    Whose side were you on? I bet you all the money in my pocket that you agreed with Rachel.

21. One.

22. If I’m about to sleep with someone, I want to be sure they’re not sleeping with anyone else, and that they got tested recently before I do anything with them. And I would do the same. So depends on what date number you decide to have sex with someone. But I know I could never fully be comfortable having sex with someone if I had concerns they were still sleeping with someone else or if they could be carrying something

23. Date number one

24. Lots of people on here trying to take some high road of “oh I would never even go on a date if she’s already got an fwb”, and that’s fine if that’s something that’s going to be a big value or priority for you, but in general you’re really not going to know that or much else about a person going into even the first few dates.

    At least in my mind, the first couple dates are still a pretty casual time where neither person is assuming exclusivity unless that’s been agreed upon beforehand. I wouldn’t begrudge them going on other dates or still seeing fwb’s, as I might very well be doing the same. It’s only after either a couple dates or maybe a month that I’d think it’s time to actually have a conversation about where things are going and what they’d be. And even then, we might not decide to be exclusive, it’s just that at that point it’s time to check in.

    In reality, everyone’s going to have different expectations and values. You have people in open relationships who are still seeing other people, and you have people who are saving themselves until marriage and finding what they hope to be “the one.” That’s why the most important thing is to actually talk with a partner and establish what the relationship is and what the expectations are.

    Exclusivity isn’t something that just becomes unsaid or assumed after a certain amount of dates or a certain period of time. It’s a decision and a commitment you both explicitly make and agree to.

25. I would not date a girl that’s having sex with other men. She can if she wants to but that means I won’t date her.

26. I wouldn’t date a woman that is having sex with other men currently. I also wouldn’t start dating other women if I were having sex with someone else.

27. If I knew a girl had a “friend with benefits”, personally, I wouldn’t date her unless she has gotten rid of the benefits.

28. If she likes you she’ll stop straight away. If you have to ask her to stop she’s the wrong girl…

29. If you value yourself as someones seconds go for gold!

30. I’m not even going to continue dating someone who is simultaneously dating others much less having a fwb.

31. First time we sleep together. If she is serious, the FWD can be put on hold. If it doesn’t work out the FWB will still be there.

    I get the need for sex. but if you are attempting a serious relationship, there needs to be dedication.