Soooo guy I’m seeing still has photos of him and his ex on Instagram. Which is totally fine however- they looked really cute together!! She’s 5’0, blonde, skinny and I’m 5”5 brown hair, and athletic built. Seeing their photos has made me super insecure that maybe I’m not his type. I’ve brought this up and he’s reassured me I am his type yet I can’t get over how cute they looked together
Anyone else relate?
23 comments
I mean…. they aren’t together anymore. It’s his past. And whatever is his past turned him into the amazing person he is today and to you – and she’s a part of that. I’m thankful to ex girlfriends.
Pay attention to the actions. He wouldn’t be with you if you weren’t his type. Some people don’t have a “type”, I usually don’t.
I personally don’t like when people pretend like past relationships happen. They happened, and we all grow from them. Im going to guess this is a newer relationship for you? The insecurity is completely natural, as long as you don’t get hooked on it. If it’s new, just take note and believe what he makes you feel. If you’ve been in it a while, and you’re still feeling it… That may be reflecting other issues/thoughts.
Nah. To be honest it creeps me out more when people erase all evidence of their past relationships.
Don’t do this to yourself. People rarely have one “type”.
If you put my exes in a line up you’d be surprised the same person dated them by looks. I found them all attractive (obviously) but they didn’t have the same features, body shape, height, hair color, etc. whatsoever. I don’t think a person has to date the same looking person or only find one type of person attractive.
Just be confident in who you are and remember you’re probably attractive in your own right and looks aren’t everything – it’s only what gets you on the door, it’s personality that makes people really fall in love.
I would think it’s pretty common to feel that way for people (myself included) who are generally insecure about most things when it comes to dating.
About 10 years ago I went on a date with a girl who I thought was out of my league. I still had Facebook at the time, and saw her ex was this ripped military dude. They looked like a perfect couple.
That’s not me. I’m tall, but back then I was very overweight. The girl knew this and still went on a date with me.
She was a genuinely nice person and we stayed in touch for a year or so, but nothing ever materialized. I think a lot of that had to do with my insecurity because she wasn’t superficial in any sense.
I guess my point is don’t let insecurity ruin something with potential. If I was in a better place mentally a decade ago my life could be completely different right now.
Take some cute photos together so you have some ones to look at that make you feel good?!
you’re his type now. stop focusing on his ex.
Don’t overthink it. I would remove mine, but that’s to help me move on.
I mean.. I highly prefer brunettes or dark hair to blondes, and athletic build is way more attractive to me than slim.
Hell my most desirable ‘type’ would be a goth/emo/grunge girl with dark hair and piercings/tattoos but I’ve literally never dated one because I just haven’t met one I vibed with while single. If you looked at all my ex’s you would never guess I’m into that look.
Yes! But I’m insecure. Working on this though
Men generally don’t have a type, they date who they find attractive and who is interested in him.
Do you have any reason to think she was his type, have all his other exes looked like her or are you looking at a sample of one or two?
No good can come from looking at pictures of her. It didn’t work out with her. He’s with you and it’s his decision. She, as a whole person overall, isn’t compatible with him. You, as a whole person overall is working out with him. Pieces of people don’t exist, so don’t pick apart her looks to compare with yours. That’s not what’s making the relationship last.
Are you in the PNW lol
I wouldn’t really get insecure over exes, as they broke up for a reason. Just because a couple looks cute, doesn’t mean they were functional.
A lot of people don’t have a type. I have dated all kinds of women. I think this is a good exercise in reframing. Your partner you should hope had lovely memories and time spent with other people who cared for him for a time. But he has chosen you now. You have exes too I imagine right?
Also yeah she was probably cute but like it says something about his taste in women overall right including you? If she wasn’t cute you’d be like why was he dating this non cute woman when he’s attractive? Just ponder it and see if her a healthy framing of it can be
I feel like this relates:
https://www.bustle.com/wellness/insecure-about-partners-past-relationships-how-can-i-get-over-it
If you’re backing into her height by their photos you are overthinking it.
We all have a past.
She’s his ex for a reason.
He’s with you, and comparison is a thief of joy. Attempt to remain present.
no, it’s 100% your insecurity and nothing to do with reality.
It’s amazing how people draw conclusions based off n=2
So he’s dated a 5’0″ skinny blonde and a 5’5″ athletic brunette. How are you even deciding which one’s the type and which one’s the anomaly?
I understand being insecure about it. But she’s an ex, and he’s choosing you right now. You’re projecting your insecurities onto them.
Also: if someone has such a strong type that their exes all look just like you, that’s hella creepy. You might not be insecure about what his “type” is, but it’s way weirder to wonder if he cares about you as a person or if he just likes that you physically fit some specific criteria.
My last two serious relationships were 5’2 125lbs, 32DDD and curvy. The other was 5’8 155lbs 36D slender and very fit.
They both very hot and both very much my type. Stop with the insecure thoughts.
I would try not to look into it.
My exes have been fat, skinny, plump, white, indian, asian. I found them all attractive in different ways.