Hello fellow men. So for some context me and my girlfriend are 17. We have been together for just barely over a year, but the last month it feels like its been going down hill. It started after we talked about our goals for the future and for life (and they are very different in ways I cannot work with), and since then it doesnt feel like its been the same any more. We have had two arguments (which is two more than we had before this), and it feels like the communication has been rough since. She hasnt initiated a single conversation in weeks, and the ones we have feel forced sometimes. I am realizing that there are things about her that I dont really like and struggle to put up with.
But on the flip side, some days it feels really good. We are happy, and enjoying each others presents, and being goofy and silly and just having fun. We have plans for a big date in two weeks and I was so excited for it and had this great plan but now I dont even know what to think about it
What do you guys think i should do here? Or what i should be thinking about?
12 comments
The most important thing to consider when trying to determine if a romantic relationship can be saved or not is communication. If you and your partner are able to openly communicate with each other about the issues that are causing problems in the relationship, then there is a good chance that the relationship can be saved. However, if communication is not possible or if one or both partners are unwilling to work on the issues that are causing problems, then it may be necessary to break off the relationship.
I’d call it
You’re 17 and should worry about your future, especially if your goals are different
But, that’s for you to decide.
That’s how you know, the whole first paragraph. You’re young and your long term goals don’t align, so it won’t work long term. Enjoy spending time with her won’t change that. Feel free to enjoy each others company for now, but this obviously isn’t a forever relationship. Which is fine. You’re still very young and have your whole life to find a forever relationship;)
That’s a conversation you guys should have.
Either it’ll help or it won’t. Let’s be honest, you are already considering breaking things off; she might be thinking the same thing.
This is 1 of those questions that kind of answers itself. If you have to ask, it’s already there.
Your 3rd sentence answered it. You have incompatible life goals which means you aren’t a good match. That doesn’t mean either of you/your goals are bad and it doesn’t mean you don’t care about each other,it’s just means a long term relationship is untenable. The sooner ones learns about them,the better because the longer you’re together the harder it gets. It’s painful now but will be a million times more painful if it happened say after you were married
If your future goals are that different then it probably won’t work.
I’m going to ignore you being 17 for a moment just because sometimes people do end up happy with the person they met in high school, though it’s rare.
If the relationship is important to you and it’s worth saving them you should be able to just discuss this with them maturely. Tell her things have been off, see what she thinks about, what are her thoughts on the future and so forth. Honest and open communication is necessary for a successful relationship. Absence of fights doesn’t mean absence of problems. Usually it means someone or both are just holding shit in.
Except that it’s only a matter of time before you break up, then decide how long you want to keep it going.
Remember you’ll be turning down regular sex for this foreseeable future.
At 17, that’s not easy to do.
(By the way, I’m not suggesting you “use“ her in any way, for sex. She is also 17, and therefore probably thinking something similar.)
Just go with the flow. No need to make any big decisions. But if you’re life goals a paths differ, sooner or later it will be over. You’re also super young and plenty of time to gain more experience.
Enjoy life, love..
If you’re asking this question, it’s most likely time to move on.
If you’re male and you’re using the words “I’m 17” and “relationship” in the same sentence, you need some sense slapped into you.
Keep things casual, use good condoms and work on your life goals, don’t try to get “seeeeerious” you’ll just make a royal mess of it.