Was this a genuine apology or an attempt to gain sympathy? (22F) Advice needed for dealing with a mistake made by my bro (19M)

As you can see in the title, I am a 22 year old female with a stable career and a high-earning job. I have one 19 year old brother who is my only sibling and he is not going to university yet and doesn’t have a job so for the most part he just hangs around at home. We have been very close from the start and our relationship is basically one that you could consider to be one of the most positive examples of a sister-brother relationship. Basically, we have always been pretty much like best friends and I love my brother a lot.

Here’s the problem, over the last few months, I noticed that some of my money would keep going missing from time to time and by now the money that has gone missing has become a big amount collectively. I asked many people about it but due to my close relationship with my brother and level of trust I had in him, I never suspected him of taking it. Last week though, I was having a general conversation with my brother in which he mentioned something about having a lot of money and that immediately made me curious since he can’t earn any money without having a job. When I confronted him about his comment, he started to dodge my questions but he eventually cracked and told me that he is the one who had taken my money. I consider myself to be a very cool minded and kind person but as soon as I heard that, I snapped at my brother and got harsh with him for probably the first time in my life and he started to argue back and insinuated that he has a right to just “borrow” my money since we’re siblings.

I have been upset with my brother since then and I haven’t really paid him much attention either. I know this is something that kills him inside because when I was attending university, I often found myself staying on-campus and he often mentioned how he would get really depressed when I wasn’t around or when he couldn’t speak with me. I guess that pretty much sums up how strong our bond has always been. This is where things get complex though. Two days ago, I was up early and walking past my brother’s bedroom door when he suddenly began screaming and yelling out my name, which is something I have never heard or seen him do before. I thought he was having a night terror or something so I immediately went in and shook him awake. As soon as he opened his eyes, he threw his arms around me and began to cry uncontrollably saying he was sorry and repeating that I’m the only one he has. I hugged him back for a while and when he calmed down a bit I talked to him for at least half an hour and asked him where the money he had taken was. Despite apologizing minutes earlier, my brother simply sealed his lips when I kept asking him this and he didn’t say anything besides mumbling “I need time.”

This is where I need help from you people. I must clarify that the money itself isn’t the biggest issue since I am financially fine without it as well, but I am very disgusted by the fact that my brother took such a big amount of money without my permission. I want him to be happy, so I wouldn’t have had any problems even giving him a bigger amount if he would have just asked me for it, but this was a just complete violation of my trust, and it is made even worse because despite admitting to everything and even “apologizing”, he still refuses to tell me what happened with the money he stole. Based on this, I was curious to know if you guys consider the emotional response that my brother displayed an actual genuine apology, or was the whole “night terror” and yelling my name out thing simply an act to make me sympathetic towards him and to lure me into a situation where I would be forced to speak to him kindly? Also, if this apology really was genuine, what do you think my brother’s perspective is and why do you think he isn’t able to tell me where my money is yet? How can I encourage him to open up and give me the full truth? Would you suggest I be lenient with him and try to get the truth out in a kind manner, or do you think some consequences or punishment would be needed?

Thanks everyone

​

TLDR: This is something that I posted about before so you may have seen it but I’m still looking for some more insight so I’m posting a more summed-up version this time. My brother stole money from me and he displayed a very unusual emotional response which has me thinking if it was a genuine apology or an act to gain sympathy.