I’ve experienced this countless times with all my relationships. When I’m single, I always love to draw, work out and do productive things. But when I get into a relationship, I feel like all my motivations vanished. I couldn’t draw, going to the gym feels like a chore and I procrastinate a lot.

10 comments

  1. Either your with the wrong people/person or your trying too much to please the other person.

    Or both

  2. You are losing yourself in the relationship. When you put yourself first, you will present the best version of yourself to the ones you love. If you can’t do thjs, it isn’t love

  3. I think whatever the reason is, you should be more inclined on not having a relationship for the mean time at all if you’ve experienced it countless times. You shouldn’t feel that way if you value your time for yourself as many relationships should. I also think you wouldn’t feel that way if you’re dating the right person specially when you’re both motivated to grow independently.

  4. It helps if you share hobbies and passions with the person you are with. If you both enjoy doing things you will get each other excited to do stuff. If you guys don’t share in anything like that then it’ll probably be a rough road and I doubt it will work very long term. I’m not saying you both need to love all the hobbies the other does, but you need to find some in common.

    You also probably need more space occasionally to both enjoy things the other does not. If you feel you don’t have space to do the things you enjoy, than it’s a good chance she’s feeling the same. Neither party wants to say it normally, especially early in a relationship. I believe its healthy to have time apart, but people fear bringing it up and looking like they don’t love being around their SO every second of every day

    Healthy relationships are a balancing act of shared passions, personality traits, goals, love, and much more, but also respecting differences, having healthy space, self care and growth, and being able to maintain non romantic relationships outside of the romantic one you have.

  5. Yes, I’ve experienced that many times. My suggestion would be to take a long break from relationships/dating to work on yourself. Go to therapy and some sort of support group. CODA might be good for you, but hard to say without more info. I’m in the process of fixing myself a bit now. Through a lot of therapy and independent work I’m finding out all the ways my fucked up childhood is affecting my relationships today. I’m healing my inner child and becoming a better man in the present. You can too but it takes commitment.

  6. I’m still in the “I feel like I’ve lost all motivation in keeping my current relationship” phase

  7. …..then don’t get in a relationship and just enjoy your life if you obviously have a lot more fun being single than being partnered up?

  8. Youre externalizing your happiness into another person. Which is a shortsighted way to live and ironically how you make yourself less attractive to your partner. Always maintain your purpose and independence.

  9. Don’t put yourself on hold to please someone else. You are not obliged to spend *all* of your free time on the lady. Keep doing you, hold on to your passions, and maybe you’ll even draw her in. Or she’ll find it neat to see you being passionate about something.

Leave a Reply
You May Also Like