There’s this guy named Joe that we have at our work, and he’s one of those really weird awkward guys who doesn’t really have any interesting qualities and he always seems to be a bum because nobody wants to be his friend. But nobody wants to be his friend because, well, he’s kind of weird, and he’s just not the kind of guy that we all vibe with and want to consistently hang out with and do our after-work activities with. We feel like he’ll just make the vibe awkward and weird with his weird awkwardness… Because that’s what he does.
Everybody at work, and I mean everybody, is just nice to him and pretends to be friendly because we feel bad for him that he doesn’t have any friends and I am pretty much forced to do the same. I really don’t want to be friends with him but he’s asked me to play golf a couple times and I have keep having to make up excuses as to why I can’t play, but I just don’t wanna play with him simply because I don’t wanna play with him or commit that time with him. I’d rather play golf with the workers that I am friends with and do vibe with. He cries and complains whenever we set up our mini golf outings that he isn’t invited but like, he’s weird, why would we invite him? He’ll just cramp our vibe and be a weirdo the whole time. I get why he’s jealous but like, you can’t just assume that you’re “one of the guys”, dude…
He seems to be really annoyed by the fact that no one at work likes him/ wants to hang out with him… Am I supposed to be his friend regardless or something?? Why should I be forced to be friends with someone that I don’t want to be friends with?
TL;DR: the weird guy at work is salty that no one likes him and wants to be friends with him. Does that make everybody else and the majority of people at the company an asshole?
13 comments
Most office “friendships” are forced. Once you quit, most don’t want anything to do with you anymore. You get along as coworkers because you have to.
It sounds like you’re excluding someone who already seems lonely and vulnerable. It is a bit of a dick move. If you don’t want to be their friend at least be honest instead of making up excuse. You sound like a highschool bully who never figured out how to treat everyone else like a human being
Wow this is incredibly sad to me. Can you imagine if it’s was glaringly obvious that nobody invited you yet everyone else around you hung out and was invited to outings…. How awful would you feel?
Okay the dude is weird, who gives a shit? I’d much rather hangout with a weirdo then a bunch of judgmental assholes to be honest. I can’t believe this shit still happens, I feel like I’ve gone back in time and I’m listening to someone in high-school rant. He’s a human being, if you’ve never exposed yourself to him outside of work then how do you know how bad it will be? He likely feels that nobody likes him and his vibe reflects that. Try the reverse, invite him out and test the waters. Then make your call on if you want to hangout or not.
Just be a nice human, it’s really not that hard.
You’re not forced to be friends with anyone. Technically, I don’t think you are acting like an AH. That being said, you come off a bit douchey in your post. It’s not that you’re forced to like or be interested in anyone in particular, but you’re talking about this Joe character with the contempt most people reserve to a piece of gum stuck in their shoe. Even ir you don’t plan to ever be his friend, it’s probably a good mental exercise to try to be less judgemental and more empathic.
What makes you think he’s weird?
Sounds like you don’t want to he friends which is fine, but you feel guilty and think complaining about the situation here will relieve that guilt and validate your behavior.
That being said no you’re not forced to be friends with anyone. But I think this post is just sad
This post feels a lil troll-y, ngl
How do you know he doesn’t have interesting qualities if you never talk to him or include him in your activities? What if he has a condition such as ADHD or he’s on the autistic spectrum? Maybe he just doesn’t feel safe being himself at work?
The answer to your question is YES, your coworkers *do* sound like assholes, and you especially sound like an asshole. You’ve created what sounds like an unpleasant, uncomfortable work environment for the poor guy and I wouldn’t blame him if he decided he didn’t want to talk to you at all!
You don’t have to be his very best friend and get all close and personal. Just invite him to hang out, he’s not hurting anyone if he just sits there quietly for God’s sake. Just don’t be surprised if he says no. I’m not sure I would even want to hang out with clique-y, judgemental colleagues 🤷
How do you know this guy has no interesting qualities? Don’t dismiss this guy’s qualities because you don’t know him. He may not be sociable and very awkward but he is still a person. You don’t have to like him to treat him like a human being
You sound like a teenager. Not wanting to be friends with someone is one thing, but you also seem to take some sort of joy in excluding him cause he’s “weird.” And the “weirdest” thing he’s done is invite you to play golf and feel upset he’s not included? He probably feels awkward because a group of coworkers are treating him like a social pariah. At the same time, it doesn’t even sound like you’ve tried to get to know him. You might actually have something in common. Grow up.
he’s different and must have a group of his own, he ain’t weird he is just different as per my perspective or maybe a personality of interest.
I’m probably gonna get some flack for this but this post and op’s responses and reasoning makes me feel disgusted, OP, you and your group of “25” year old co-workers suck at being decent human beings but hey what do I know I’m just some guy on the internet, the fact that the guy is trying to socialize with you guys and because he doesn’t have the social skills to know if he’s doing it right or not and not to mention you commented you don’t want to be friends with him because he’s 45 years old, dang you guys suck, instead of being an adult and having a face-to-face conversation with the guy and letting him know that he makes situations in conversations awkward but nah that wouldn’t help anybody would it instead you choose to call him weird behind his back nice move Op. No one is saying you have to be friends with the guy and go over to his house or whatever but at least act like a decent human being for once in your life show some compassion and empathy. Because one day you’ll find yourself in the same situation as the “weird” guy and mark my words it will happen it’s just a matter of time and then you’ll regret it.
Are you a psychopath? Cause it seems like you have no empathy at all..