How to end things with my boyfriend when I’m still in love with him?

Hello Reddit. I’m in a sad pickle. This is gonna be a long post just warning you haha. But I appreciate any advice thank you.

I (25f) have been with my boyfriend (27) since about 2020. We met at a job in which I was a seasonal worker and he was a permanent worker (I promise this is relevant). I stopped working there in early 2019. We had had been talking in mid 2019 and then fell out of touch and reconnected in early 2020. A couple months after we reconnected he met this new coworker- let’s call her Lena. Lena began dating my boyfriend’s best friend-let’s call him Ray- who also worked at the same place shortly after she began working there.

Lena, my boyfriend and my Ray became very close as they all worked together. I met her on a road trip all four of us took and this is when I noticed she kinda has a flirty open personality which I didn’t mind at the time. I saw she was with Ray and that my boyfriend brought me around and from the convos we had, he clearly talked to her about me. She was also nice and asked me a lot of questions, she was cool. However as time went on I realized how much Lena talked to my boyfriend. She texted him all the time and called him and basically treated him like a second boyfriend. She even became really close with my boyfriend’s sister and his whole family. So close that my boyfriend’s mom made her tamales when she became a US citizen. I have a little social anxiety so I’ve always put meeting his family off which my boyfriend has told me bothers him bc he wants our families to be more involved so that is my fault right there.

To make a long story short I’ve had the feeling that my boyfriend likes her as more than a friend. Last year in September he actually ended things with me bc he said he didn’t feel it and that didn’t hang out with him as much as he’d like. I took this as a blessing that I didn’t have to worry about ‘them’ anymore. But in May this year he came back saying he still has feelings for me. I asked why it took so long and he said he was in a motorcycle accident and he was stuck in bed for months and he was waiting until he got his shit together. I believed him and gave him another chance.

Now up until this week, he hadn’t brought Lena up so I thought maybe they had a falling out or Ray and her broke up. My boyfriend’s og bestie is Ray so I’m 1000% sure he would back Ray. Everything was going so smoothly and I felt like everything was perfect again. But guess what? That changed this week when my boyfriend said Lena wanted to hang with him and get tacos. Now, they were going to hang on Wednesday, the day I’m going to a concert I’ve been waiting for for months. I trust him 100% so I’ve never said anything but here is just what cracked my heart. Apparently my boyfriend’s sister got him a ticket to the concert as a late bday gift on the day of the concert. FLOOR ticket! And worse, it sounds like his sister sent the ticket to Lena and Lena and my boyfriend went together. 🙁

Up until now I’ve been pretty confident that she has nothing on me and blaming the feeling about my boyfriend having feelings for her on my insecurity and self sabotage. After all he’s allowed to have female friends. But this is just too much. Sadly I’m still very much in love with him. But I need to end things for my peace of mind. I’ve never ended an adult relationship so please if anyone has been through something similar I could really use your advice. I’m scared I won’t be brave enough to end things. Thanks if you made it to the end. 🥹