So my brother is planning a \*week long\* bachelor party with his fiancé and friends next year. We’re in NJ and it will be in Tennesse, so they’re driving. And sight seeing along the way which means stops and being at the whim of whatever they want to do.
This idea honestly stresses me out. It seems a bit excessive. Everyone is younger, and I’ll have no friends of my own there. There’s one old high school friend who last I saw was basically an alcoholic. And he already mentioned to me they’ll be smoking at the Airbnb.
During the week I’m going to have work remotely which he probably won’t like.
The AirBnb and location looks nice and rural, but he wants to do all this stuff like ATV etc and that’s really not me.
I feel like this is something he needs to do with his bros but the reality is he actually doesn’t have a ton of friends and wants to bond with his brother around, which is endearing and I appreciate but I wish this was a weekend thing that was closer by.
But there’s no way he’ll budge on that it’s all planned. Am I being unreasonable?
To top it off the finance was saying how I was “off the hook” for not planning the whole thing which is something I was supposed to do.
Some already backed out or haven’t put down their down payment for the AirBNB which was frustrating him, so I’m not sure how many people are even going.
**TL;DR!** brother is planning a week long bachelor party that honestly sounds stressful, how to politely convey that?
3 comments
You can say that this just isn’t something you would feel comfortable going to, but how well that will go over depends on how long you put off speaking up. With things like this, it is socially best to speak up as early as possible so people know what to expect or can change plans if they want to.
>So my brother is planning a *week long* bachelor party with his fiancé and friends next year. We’re in NJ and it will be in Tennesse, so they’re driving.
You’re not wrong at all. That’s a huge investment in terms of both time and money, and it’s rather selfish and unrealistic to expect people to put forth that kind of effort – and it’s not even for their wedding! I’m a bit shocked they got any takers at all because it sounds like an unpleasant obligation. Just tell them that you can’t swing that kind of trip, but you’d be happy to celebrate with him closer to home.
Tell him that you just can’t take that much time off. He should spend the week travelling with his fiancé and then you’ll come spend the weekend with him.
Clearly his friends all feel the same way, since they’re not keen to commit.