I and this guy online have been talking for 10 years now. We met on a game and not a single day has gone by without us texting eachother. So, the problem here is that I faked my complete identity when I first met him (this is something I did online because I didn’t want to give out info about myself), but as we kept talking, I found him extremely nice and well I got myself attached, I thought that maybe of he found out that I have been lying, he would stop talking, so yea I kept my lies going until one day he found it suspicious and asked me to video call him. I rejected doing so. He started doubting my gender, age and nationality (I lied about my age and nationality). So well, I had to prove my gender HIS WAY and his way were nudes and video calls with me naked. I had no way to prove the other two because I lied about them. I decided to do what he says and prove my gender, and guess what? After the call, he said: yeah that helped, you’re gonna have to do this for at least a month AS I ask you, because it could easily be your friend.
Now, we’ve been arguing about this for a very long time and we aren’t that close but we still talk. Idk what’s up with me but I like this guy and I don’t wanna lose him, he clearly doesn’t feel the same and needs me for other reasons (he lives in Iran and the internet is censored there, I am helping him by letting him have access to freelance sites). He doesn’t want me to leave because he got no other way to freelance, but he won’t do anything about his rude comments directed toward me. He has called me worthless, shit and other rude stuff. I am not sure what to feel about this because when he isn’t rude to me, he is an extremely great listener and since I’ve been talking to him about everything in my life, I kinda need him. I’ve talked to him a few times about his rude comments, he would keep saying: you ruined my life by keeping me occupied by your lies. I’ve tried cutting him off a few times, but he would come back apologizing and Id forgive him because of “what if he really won’t do it again”.
Idk what to do
TL;DR
My friend needs me for freelancing because he lives in Iran and got no access to sites but he won’t stop saying rude things to me.
9 comments
This person is not your friend. He’s using you for nudes and access to freelance sites, and he’s really mean to you. Even though he needs you, he isn’t giving you the basic courtesy of respect.
The guy is a creep, he’s not your friend, he’s using you.
You’re in a profoundly abusive relationship. If your lies bothered him this much, the healthy alternative is to simply end the relationship. He used a vulnerability that you presented to instead extort you and take advantage of your (I assume) naivete. I don’t like being lied to, but something like being a woman on the internet is… pretty understandable? Most people who are decent wouldn’t hold that against you? Anyways, yes, you need to cut him off, and yes, when you cut him off, he will come back. Unhealthy people are utterly unable to extrapolate to/plan for the future, so they’ll say/do things today without a single thought for how it will affect tomorrow. If you want to be healthy for yourself, you need to have self-respect and boundaries, and keep firm to decisions that you know are good for you.
I wouldn’t be surprised if he posted your nudes
I don’t understand what the problem is here. Block him.
Block him.
Who gives a shot if you like him? He only knows a facade that you presented. He doesn’t know you.
Shit’s over. Move on with your life instead of being blackmailed sexually by someone half a world away
Omg you must be very young. He’s literally taking advantage of you. Block him!
And honestly seek therapy, I don’t know if you’re very lonely, but because someone is nice at times doesn’t mean you ignore when he’s a piece of shit. Must shitty people are good at times, that’s how manipulation works. Seek help or it will become a pattern in your life where you’ll be bamboozled with the bare minimum and anyone that gives you a drum of attention
“you’re gonna have to do this for at least a month AS I ask you, because it could easily be your friend.”
….what
Block him.