So a year ago I met my good friend and we talked a lot. We spoke about our teenage years and she brought up a really terrible letter that was written to a classmate anonymously while in 9th grade and she told me it was my twin sister who wrote it.
This friend used to be my sister’s friend until like 7th grade when she came to me crying because she felt neglected in my sisters friend group so we became best friends.
I brought up this letter with my sister later as adults a year ago(we’re 26 now) and she completely denied it and even got mad and started saying I only brought it up because of my mental health. I brought it up because I kind of wanted to know if it’s true, which I wouldn’t actually care that much about since it’s normal to do stuff one regrets as a teen. Also because I feel like I’ve always questioned how innocent my sister was as a teen since some of her friends said she was demeaning and so on.
Even as an adult I think it’s hard to talk to her about things without her getting mad, demeaning any feelings, changing subject etc and she can’t be wrong and I’ve never heard her say sorry.
I wonder if I should ask my friend to clarify how she knew my sister wrote that letter? I feel like it would reveal a lot about my sister, if she wrote it and won’t admit it and so on.
I know I’m probably dwelling on past things too much but I’ve been unsure I want my sister in my immediate life for a lot of other reasons. I just don’t know if I can grow with her in my life.
​
tl;dr: Someone wrote a terrible letter to a classmate in highschool and best friend casually mentioned as adults (25) that it was my sister. I brought it up with my sister who denies it. I really want to know the truth, so should I ask my friend to clarify how she knows it was my sister?
1 comment
Honestly, what would it achieve? It sounds like you and your sister are not compatible as friends. You sound like you don’t care for the person she is. As such, it’s ok to distance yourself from her. I know some people will be like “But you’re sisters!” Yeah, no. Just because you are sisters does not mean you have to be close. You are different people and if it’s not healthy, then it’s ok to distance yourself for your mental health.
You sound like you are dwelling on the past. It’s easy to do. But if that is not helping you mentally, then learn to let it go. Focus on the here and now relationships that are positive and healthy for you.